Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?
In this industrial era when people move so fast, transportation becomes one of the most important factors to serve the human need to go to other places. But, as the rising of transportation usage, the traffic and CO2 emission are the drawback and it can be extremely dangerous for us. Then, there is an opinion that rising up the price of fuel will significantly solve the traffic jam and pollution. However, I briefly disagree the price will change our habit as the main cause of these problems.
Petroleum is the basic requirement for the machine to power up. People are used to buying the petrol. This leads the people to choose the private rather than the public one. However, According to research, there is no correlation between price and solving growing traffic. So that increasing the price will not make a significant effect on their ways of using their own transportation.
Now we are talking about the solution of this problem. The one that could be effective is serving public transportation to public. Using public transportation will effectively decrease the number of congestions level in some cities. Also, survey proves that if the transportation is fast, secure, and easy, almost 85 percent of respondents are ready to use the public transportation. If this research is true, then it can make a tremendous effect to solve the problem known that hard to be solved all time.
All in all, providing the mass transportation and improving it are the way that can be adopted to overcome the traffic congestion and pollutions problems. Rising the price of petrol will not effectively solve the problem because, according to research, there is no correlation between price and using transportation. Using public transportation will significantly reduce the problem.
(292 Words)
Hi My Ivan, these are my thought towards your essay
1. between priceandsolving growing traffic
[ i think you are not paralleling the same thing ; you paralleled noun and verbs. it would be better if you change it to noun and noun "...between The Price of petrol and The growing traffic solution ]
2. So that [you need comma here] increasing the price ...
3. the number of congestionscongestion levels in some cities..
[ congestion is an uncountable noun]
4. providing the mass transportation and improving it
[ personally, it wold be better if you write "providing and improving the mass transportation", but it depends on your writing style]
5. ... improving it are the ways that..
6. ..between priceandusing transportation...
[not parallel, between the price and the transportation usage would be better]
Mr Ivan, personally, in this essay, you should explain the idea more, you have good ideas on your both body paragraph but it does not explained well. Honestly, in some sentences, i found it difficult to understand what the sentences mean, for example "However, I briefly disagree the price will change our habit as the main cause of these problems".
here are my suggestion
1. be careful with countable and uncountable noun
2. be careful with parallel structure
i hope it will be useful, thanks and GoodLuck Mr Ivan
