I'm practicing for the IELTS test and here is my essay. Could you please help me to check whether it is a good one or not?
Thank you very much for your comments and feedback.These days, it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulation (migration from the country to the city ) and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed.
It is true that more and more people are moving to live in the urban areas. This has several effects on the city and measures need be taken to address these issues.
There are several effects on the city due to the rural depopulation. Firstly, the growing population in the city leads to increasing pollution. More people means more wastes are produced every day. Pollution becomes more serious for their activities: the air the breath; the food they eat; the water they drink or use for washing. Secondly, the traffic congestion gets graver. While the infrastructure stays the same, more people need to travel in the city. Consequently, there are rising in the number of accidents and traffic jams. Finally, the rate of violence and crime may rise as well. This is the result of increasing conflicts as the number of people grows. The police force also seems to be not enough to control and manage the situation.
Clearly action needs to be taken to solve these problems. One thing that would improve the situation is to encourage local businesses to move to the rural areas. One reason why people immigrate to the city is that they want to have a better job. Establishing factory and business here can provide rural people better opportunities. Therefore, they do not need to leave their hometowns. Furthermore, the authority can also consider enhancing the traffic network from rural areas to the city. As a result, people can travel easily and they can work in the city while still live in their hometowns.
In conclusion, there are various effects of the immigration from the country to the city and actions mentioned above need to be conducted to tackle these problems.