IELTS: The same money for sport activities or libraries? They assemble money from learner

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Answer:

As we know, University is build and place that it gives benefit for many students because it gives knowledge about lessons for us. In here, Academy should give the same amount of money to their students sport activities as they confer to their University libraries. I totally disagree about this statement. However, if I look from other side, I agree about this. Therefore, I will accord several reasons about that.

I believe that University want to give better for their students. I think Academy often give money for libraries because it is very useful for many learner for improving knowledge no directly with read several books in the library. However, University give money too to their students sport activities, but different amount of money as they give to their College libraries. For instance, Syiah kuala University has library large and every year they always change some books in there. It needs much money because they order International books. These different with their students sport activities. They just support a little money for sporting because I think that they are not worries that. I sometimes look in my College as Science Faculty in there always stand alone. They assemble money from learner that follow it. Therefore, I think University should not give the same amount of money between sport activities and College libraries.

From other side, I agree about this statement because some of University give of money too to their students sport activities. They give the same amount of fund with College libraries, but it is form other. For example, Academy prepare Scholarship largest for their learner that active in sport activities and they have predicate very good in sport. Therefore, I think University give the same amount of money between sport activities and University libraries.

To sum up, I believe that University want to give the same amount of money, but they change money to form other that balance.

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Universities are places where students can acquire a large amount of worthwhile knowledge.


This part is pretty confusing. What is your final opinion on this statement?


You don't have to capitalize the first letter of university as it is not a proper noun.
Also, you should pay careful attention to your grammar!

... I think you should not use capital in Academy

your sentence is quite confusing
University is built as a place to give much knowledge which is knowledgeable for students.


Too much linked, i worry it will be overusing.

I tend to disagree about this statement, while there are some reasons to agree.

... wrong grammar - University is built

There are several issues with your writing. Grammar, vocabulary, clarity, presentation etc.

I think you can write Syiah Kuala University... :)

this idea is too general.



Write 'confer with'.


Give some specific examples to support this idea.



Write 'a large library.'


bad grammar.

I find many problems: grammar, vocabulary, sentence, idea.
Suggestion: Read as many IELTS writings as you can to improve your writing skills. This help you find some ideas and improve your vocabulary and grammar.