Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


GRE: Scandals are really a way of information spreading, yet it often spread unwarranted information



xatutik 12 / 29  
Sep 11, 2014   #1
Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

We live in a world full of different problems: environmental, social, racial. Many of these problems require more public attention in order to be overcome. There are many ways to inform people about some problem and one of these methods is scandals. Though scandals can sometimes bring some good, I believe they mostly prove to be the worst way of informing public. Scandals mostly contain not inexact information. Besides, the masses who pay attention to scandals mostly do not care about the problem it presents, they just like scraps. And after all there are better methods of public information.

Many people believe that scandals spread information about a problem which needs attention and make people aware of it. It is partially true, scandals truly share some information. However mostly this information is exaggerated and contains some incorrectness. This erroneous information is being spread with facts in order to make people more excited and annoyed about some problem. However this incorrectness will mislead people who accept it as exact fact. They will not know what is truth and what is imaginary and eventually can not defeat the problem moreover they can panic population. For example in my country there are many online newspapers which does not care about truth much, their main purpose is to increase their ratings. Thus they often share superficial, unchecked or even incorrect information only to make people to read their news.

There are many people for whom scandals are the main source of information about some problems. They accept almost every piece of information and scrap they get as a plain truth. This is resulted by the fact that they do not know much about that problem. Moreover, getting information about a particular problem only from scandals, which as I mentioned above usually include incorrect information, they continue to be unaware. Thus this resembles to some kind of close loop, which make these careless people to remain oblivious. Furthermore, as I have noticed, mostly people who rely on scandals as a source of information about some problem, in fact does not care for that problem. Every time, when they find another scandal about other problem, they easily shift to that new one and often forget about the previous.

Scandals really can draw public attention on the issue discussed. However if government or some association also wants that problem to be solved, they need other methods of information distribution, which will be more relying and will not mislead population. This kind of methods can be public discussions with people well aware of a problem, or spreading flysheets with problem description and the suggestions which can help solve it, even advertisements justified by informed people can be useful.

To sum up, scandals are really a way of information spreading, however it often spread unwarranted information, which not only does not help to solve some problem, but can even hinder its solution. Moreover, people who rely on scandals, does not gain through understanding of a problem, thus can not help to solve it. And at last there are many other helpful and better methods of information distribution.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 11, 2014   #2
I have a few suggestions and revisions that I believe you can use to further improve the content of your paper. I hope you will agree with my suggestions :-)

We live in a world full of different problems: environmental...

- While this is a good introduction to the topic, I believe that if you mention that the reason the scandals are not a good way of spreading information because the public, being the ones that the government serves, demand a higher code of conduct in all dealings of the government. You can also explain that some scandals are politically motivated so scandals may spread information, but it is usually tainted information meant to benefit the opposing party or remove the public's attention from some real government problem that concerns them. That said, you can then state your point of view on the matter as the ending thesis of the statement.

... spread information about a problem which needs attention and make people aware of it. It is partially true, scandals truly share some information. However mostly this information is exaggerated and contains some incorrectness . This erroneous information is being spread with facts in order to (...) and annoyed about some problem. However this incorrectness will mislead people who ...

They will not know what is truth and what is imaginary and eventually can not defeat the problemmoreover they can panic population .
... there are many online newspapers which does not care about truth much, their main purpose is to ...
Thus they often share superficial, unchecked or even incorrect information only to make people to read their news.

- ... about a problem that the public must be made aware of because it concerns their well being. This is partially true... However, most of this information is exaggerated and often falsified. This erroneous information is spread as facts... about the problem. Some rumor mongering newspapers even use scandals to instill panic in the public... online newspapers that do not care... much . Their main purpose...

There are many people for whom scandals are the main source of ...

- This is just a repetition of what you previously said. Avoid redundancy. Instead, you can discuss your point of view on the matter and begin to explain to what extent you agree or disagree with the previous comment.

Scandals really can draw public attention on the issue discussed. (...) /quote]
- You deviated from the prompt. You need to discuss only whether you agree or disagree with the prompt, present opposing evidence, then defend your point of view. [quote=xatutik]To sum up, scandals are really a way of information spreading...

- Your conclusion should only restate your thesis and reiterate the points of discussion in support of your statement.

The overall essay lacks a balanced discussion of the pro and con side. You did not really take a stand on the issue so you never actually answered the prompt. I believe that this essay should be revised to line up more closely with the prompt and incorporate my suggestions if you wish :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE: Scandals are really a way of information spreading, yet it often spread unwarranted information
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳