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School - a place to get information and parents to teach good behavior. Unhealthy lifestyle problem.


ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Oct 25, 2016   #1
Many children these have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, information about unhealthy lifestyle which occur in society especially for children can find anywhere as newspaper, magazine, internet and others. These problems are dangerous for them, unhealthy lifestyle on children can destroy their life, like easy to sick and make disease as diarrhea or obesity. These phenomena can disturb their daily activity as play or socialization with their friends. Unhealthy lifestyle on children is must eliminated and responsible for solving this problem are school and parents.

Schools are place for children to get information about good habits. In the school, teacher teach theirs student about unhealthy life style. Then, give them are remind about anything as well as how to a healthy diet, how to a healthy behavior and a healthy environment. For example, Teacher give task and example how to the dangerous of unhealthy life style for life. It will make them sick and cannot do activities. Besides, in school environment, teachers have responsibility to warn about instant food and the danger of that. So, school is the one factor to solving about unhealthy life for children because it is places of them to study and get knowledge.

On the other hand, parents are place to follow the healthy life style, parents must give a good example, good custom, and prevision before go to school. The behavior of parents will affect for children and have positive effect for their life style. Such as accustomed their children to wash their hand before eat, take a bath twice a day, toothbrush every morning and before sleep. In addition, Parents which give prevision for their children will help their healthy lifestyle, they will not eat instant food on their school and keep healthy, because more clean than food or snack which sale in their school. Parents are the first source of unhealthy life style for their children. If they do not have good behavior as habits, it will make their children have unhealthy life style.

In conclusion, both of school and parents are responsible for solving the problem about unhealthy lifestyle. School is place to get information and parents are place to teach good behavior. (354w)

badafebriani17 34 / 44 1  
Oct 25, 2016   #2
Hello. actually your essay is good.
But this is suggestion for you

1. ... disturb their daily activity as play or socialization with their friends.

you can change the sentence
these phenomenon can disturb their daily activities, such as play or socialize with their friends. Unhealthy lifestyle on children is must eliminate and responsible by their teachers and folks

2. ... source of unhealthy life style for their children. ... it will make their children have unhealthy life style .

you can change the sentence
Parents are one of sectors that can influence of their children's lifestyle. if the parents [Folks/mother/fathers/guardian] have not ability to manage their children, may children can have bad behavior such as a unhealthy lifestyle.

i hope it helpful
good luck
Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Oct 25, 2016   #3
1. use advance word : good habits -------------> high rule
2. use precise word : information about unhealthy lifestyle which occurexists in society
3. be careful with grammatical sentence :
... must eliminated and who responsible for solving this problem areis school and parents.
4. be careful to use these or not.
These problems are dangerous for them
-------> you don't mention problem before this sentence, so tell the problem first.
5. be careful with plural and singular
both of school (...) for solving the problems about unhealthy lifestyle
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Oct 25, 2016   #4
Hi Resky,

- I think you don't answer the task achievement which is given above.
- You should explain why you agree or disagree
- i don't find your opinion in the essay, whereas you should put your opinion in introduction or conclusion since the question ask 'do you agree or disagree?'

- You need to check your grammar and some collocation before posting the essay.
For example , "..., like easy toget sick and makesuffer from a disease as diarrhea or obesity."

Hopefully it helps.


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