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Is school a suitable spot for pupils to study about how to adapt in the social society?


faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Oct 29, 2016   #1
There are many arguments mentioned that school is suitable spot for pupils to study about how to adapt with social society. In contrast, some people said that family will bring more effect if they directly teaching their own-children to be great in surroundings. In my opinion, spouses is the best people who can teach their own-child intensively

Nowadays, schools tend to be the center of educations. Many parents already busy with their activities, so they choose the best school for educating their children both intellectual and social aspects. So, in this case, teachers bring the main role to create student's perspective, about how interact with people. In fact, it is extremely not effective, because there are too many children in the school, and actually teachers only develop their intellectual quotient. Furthermore, students cannot learn a lot about the way to socialize with other people from their teachers.

As a result of that, it is undoubtedfully that parents is the best people who know the real characters and potential of their own children. First, it's because father and mother have an amazing bounding with their pupils since pregnant. So, they exactly know what is the real characteristic of their child, such as introvert, extrovert, and others. Every character have not same way of interact with another. So, the parents know the best way to bring up their child. Second, it is caused by time that spent by parents with children longer than in school. They meet in the morning, when breakfast in afternoon when play even in the night when sleep together. So, husband and wife have the stronger change to build socialization ability and skills of their children.

All in all, family is the most convenient place for building emotional sides of children such as how to become good member in social life. So, I suggest that parents should keep in touch every time and more often with their children.
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Oct 31, 2016   #2
For the first, please you always attach the question so that others can easily give valuable feedback of your essay according to the task given.

INTRODUCTION
This is quite simple and effective as you just paraphrased the question the wrote down your opinion in order to address the task responses. However, pay attention in your sentence since there is a few errors there.

..... people said that family will bring more effect if they[they refer to family??] directly teaching their own-children to be great in surroundings. In my opinion, spouses is the best people who can teach their own-child intensively [teach what?]

BODY PARAGRAPH
BODY 1: you were well-developed your idea here and firmly mentioned that teachers are not the ones who suppose to teach children about social aspects. However, there are still many spaces for improvement. you may need to explain more why school is not the right one, the relevance between crowded class with ineffective social aspect leaning and why school assess more about academic values and its implication on student social knowledge. Another thing that i need to remind you is that you need to concern on accuracy while writing. pay attention on grammatical rules and punctuation. Also, a proper way to use cohesive device to get the good flow of writing without mechanically or over-use cohesive devices.

BODY 2:

it is undoubtedfully that parents is the best people who know the real characters and potential of their own children.

explain more the relevance of the real characters and potential of children with the social learning they should get from parents as their order to become a good member of society.

CONCLUSION
as you did not mention your personal view in body paragraph, you should write it down here rather than only wrote ''I'' in your suggestion.


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