Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Who have the pivotal role for teaching pupils to become the responsible society members?


Ali20 8 / 14 2  
Oct 8, 2019   #1

teaching how to be good members of the society



Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that the school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

A massive number of people state that parents have pivotal role for teaching their pupils to become responsible society members, while others refuse and claim school is the appropriate place for it. Although, the latter argue it as school has precise learning surrounding, I believe that parents have longer time to control and teach their children.

First of all, it is generally known that school is a place to enhance not only about academic skills but also emotional ability. In the school a student would find friends coming from different backgrounds and they will be united in the class. Hence, this method will give students knowledge about importance of respect and emphatic each other's. Moreover, sometimes teachers give group assignments for students to conduct together which it teaches them specifically about a power of togetherness as well as responsibilities. Thus students will be a good society member if they can assimilate these values comprehensively. Unfortunately, schools are limited by time to run the system.

However, some experts argue that parents have huge responsibility to educate their children because they have much time to guide and demonstrate directly about collective values to their surroundings. Taking for example, when I was child, my father used to ask me to join social activities in my residence area, then today I have understood well about social responsibilities. I also known about the importance of giving cause my mother has given me a good example; she allocates a part of her revenue to unfortunate people in my town. Then, it is valued that parental education is holistic way to develop about social values.

To conclude, I re-state again that children have much benefits to learn about social life through their parents than school.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Oct 9, 2019   #2
@Ali20
Hi! Thanks for being here once more. I hope this feedback is helpful for your learning endeavors. If it is, don't hesitate to approach us at all times when you need someone to assess your writing.

The first paragraph is quite well-done. It was structured, had the necessary and appropriate content, and was able to explain why the essay will turn out the way that it does.

What I do suggest, however, is trying to make concise your second paragraph. It was quite notable how your writing had been a bit messy during this section because of jumping too quickly between point A and point B. If you're trying to tackle about the emotional portion that one can gather from academic institutions, try to also maintain that as a general direction. The last portions of the paragraph had also been focusing too much on a generalized approach to the topic.


Home / Writing Feedback / Who have the pivotal role for teaching pupils to become the responsible society members?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳