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[WRITING TASK 2]: SCHOOL VIOLENCE



nhuquynh7898910 1 / -  
Apr 28, 2023   #1
School should be a safe environment for learning and developing, however, school violence seems to be increasing. Where does this problem come from? What should we do to change the situation?

Although schools are generally supposed to be safe and harmonious places, recent years have witnessed an upward trend in school violence across the world. This phenomenon is attributed to several causes, which can be tackled by a collective effort from both parents and educators.

To begin with, there are numerous explanations for violent acts among schoolchildren. One of them may come down to their psychological deficiencies when brought up in dysfunctional families. Drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, among other factors, are believed to cause worry, hatred and resentment in small children, influencing them to act aggressively when interacting with classmates or teachers at school. Besides, social media is also to blame for this worrying trend among teenagers. At this early age, many have yet to develop a sense of right and wrong, which means overexposure to brutal content on online platforms would desensitize them to violence in the real world. For example, watching too many videos featuring gory fighting scenes on Youtube could easily make a child believe those acts to be normal occurrences, justifying some students not hesitant to resort to violence to settle disagreement.

To curb this violence, parents and institutions can take several action. Firstly, it should be ensured that no social evils and disaccord exist within the households. If children are nurtured in a healthy environment, it is less likely that they will adopt violence as ways to resolve conflict. Besides, parents should monitor what their children view on social media so as to minimize the latter's exposure to harmful contents that fuel violent behaviors. Moreover, it is of importance that school leaders administer strict punishment on students displaying such acts. This would serve as a deterrent to repeat violators as well as would-be ones.

To conclude, violence taking place in a school setting can stem from several reasons, including dysfunctional family dynamics and media consumption, which call for immediate action from the guardians as well as schools themselves.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Apr 29, 2023   #2
across the world

Unnecessary reference point. Such exaggerations will not earn extra points and will result in deductions instead. Stick close to the original reference points. No additions on your part. Your opinion statement is not informative and cannot be given a passing consideration. The examiner expects you to provide a summary of the discussions to follow that will reference the central themes of each paragraph discussion.

there are numerous explanations for violent acts among schoolchildren

Avoid the use of word fillers. These help you meet the word count but do not add to the scoring consideration since it is usually only a repetition of already provided information. In this case, you are merely repeating a discussion instruction rather than moving the discussion forward, towards an informative presentation.

several action

Several refers to a plural form of reference. Action is singular, this should be in plural form as well.


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