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IELTS 2: Schools are spending time teaching traditional subjects as history not how to find a job


verina 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2022   #1

what kind of knowledge gained at schools?



Many people believe that the education system these days focuses on the traditional subjects such as biology and history rather than soft and advanced skills that can help the student find a job. I strongly agree with their point of view for different reasons .

First of all, despite all traditional subjects being vital ,a student must learn how to find a job and how to start his own bussiness in order to get money. Schools' aim is to bring up educated people but how can this vision come true without the rest of the real-life skills being learnt for instance I believe that a subject that can help you calculate the taxes and teach you how to save money is essential .

Second, many traditional subjects can be optional such as languages so why not adding a subject that can help the student in making their c.v more advanced and well orgainzied sometimes students have the potential and the qualifications for the job but unfortunatly because they can't present themself in a proper way using documents they can't get the job .

Moreover, if a person learnt all the provided courses in their school , still getting a job is not fatale and that's due to that not all the schools have an internship course for the students. In addition , most of the students don't know what they should do in a job interview sometimes not even finding a suitable job opportuinty that suits them , having optional courses if not even required ones can change this phenomenon and help the majority of students in finding work .

In conclusion, I think that physics, math and history are important but they are not enough for creating a successful generation ready for life .Providing them with other skills to help them take part in the society is indespensible for creating a better future not just for them but also for their future families and countries.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,221 4319  
Sep 18, 2022   #2
The writer's rewording of the original prompt is problematic because the phrase

that can help the student find a job.

is a direct cut and paste from the original presentation. As such the paraphrasing is not acceptable and will be give a failing score since the writer was unable to use word equivalents and could not show a personal interpretation of the original topic. This has affected the strength of his personal opinion which is also weak since it does not carry the summarized version of his reasoning paragraphs. He was unable to convince the examiner that he has a degree of English comprehension and interpretation skills that could help him complete a higher education level education in an English speaking country.

Schools'

Incorrect use of a proprietarial apostrophe. The writer is indicating a plural form of the word which should have used the +S presentation instead of ownership, which is signified by the use of an apostrophe after a +S.

Upon a deeper review, the student shows an inability to properly use punctuation marks in his presentation, the result of which will be a failing GRA score and, quite possibly a failing overall score. Other reasons for the failing score will be the way the student uses contractions in an essay that is meant to show a formal writing ability based on English language writing rules.

I think

The writer will lose points for suddenly changing his opinion in the concluding summary. This phrase contradicts his opening statement opinion and no longer follows the required writing format.


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