scientific experiments managed by whom?
It is a common belief that experiments about science should be managed by the government than business companies. This essay agrees that politics should build and develop scientific research. Firstly, this essay will discuss humans could avoid the risk of the experiment if the manager was the government and secondly, it will give drawbacks of administration by the private companies.
There is a more persuasive argument that when the authority manages the research, the scientists could be safer than companies. The government would accommodate insurance, this can decrease much danger for residents. For instance, chemical experiments tend to be highly explosive. However, private companies could be hard to guarantee security in research lead to effects not only for the scientists but also for the community. While the authority could warrant the risks as minimum as by business companies.
On top of that, the management of waste management in science experiments by the politic would be stricter and more secure than by the private companies. The typical example, the fahasa company belonging to China discharged waste into the East sea of Vietnam led to a series of fish death. For this issue, the indignation was an outburst.
To conclude, it seems clear that the management of scientific experiments should be by the authority rather than the private companies.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,705 3785
The original discussion topic centers on the question " To what extent do you agree or disagree?" This essay failed to provide a strength of belief response based on the discussion question. However, the thesis topics presented are interesting and highly applicable to the discussion. Without a proper question response though, the thesis topics loses impact.
Discussion paragraphs are mostly on point but can use more explanation development. Attention must be paid to the sentence structures as these tend to lose clarity as the writing progresses. The writer must learn to proofread, spot, and correct errors in his writing. The writer shows a gift of logic. The problem, is that he does not have the ability to develop well structured sentences yet. Focus on grammar development, sentence variation, and clarity through basic writing exercises first.
Had the writer avoided these problems in the presentation, the essay would have recieved a passing mark.
I would like to point out some errors in your essay.
1. This essay agrees that
politics should ... (Politics can't build them itself, and I don't think politics is related to science).
2. This essay will discuss humans ... (This sentence is ambiguous).
3. when the authority manages ... (confusing)
→ The scientists could be safer when the authority manages the research rather than the companies.
4. ... accommodate insurance, AND this can decrease ...
5. Your structure is simple and you should get to know how to make a complex sentence.
6. However, private companies could ... also for the community. [This sentence is hard to understand and have some grammatical errors)
→ It is difficult for private companies to guarantee security, which has adverse effects not only on scientists but also on the community.
7. Correct while structure: ..., while .... / while ..., ....
8. POLITICS doesn't denote PEOPLE. → POLITICIANS
9. (it is not serious) Fahasa → Formosa
Overall, you really have some serious errors that can affect your GRA. Please be careful and not to make those again.
@huyjunnie thank for your opinion I'm so stressed with my writing skill