There are 8 things which able to leads us to success. First of all is PASSION. Try to do something that you love, not struggle just for money. If you work for love, money comes anyway. Second thing is WORK, so we have to work and fun to make everything easy. Next thing is GOOD. There is no magic, we have to repeat practice to make something perfect. Then FOCUS, we have to focusing our self in one thing. In addition, we have to PUSH our self, physically and mentally. Then SERVE, we have got to serve others something value. Next is IDEA, just think for simple things to build up the creativity. The last is PERSIST, it is most important thing to reach success.
Source: TED
Hi Fauzan
Let me give you some advice...
(the) Second thing is WORK, so we have to ...
.., we have to repeat practice (every day) to make something perfect. Then FOCUS, we have to focusing(focus) our self in one thing. In addition, we have to PUSH our self, physically and mentally.
Try to make a summary with min 150 words
Thank you...
There are 8 things which able to leads (TO INFINITIVE SHOULD FOLLOWED BY V1) us to success.THE First of all is PASSION. Try to do something that you love, not struggle just for money. (CONFUSING TRY TO USE SENTENCE S+V+O) If you work for love (WHAT DO YOU MEAN?), money comes anyway
THE Second thing is WORK(WHAT DO YOU MEAN) , so we have to work ...
SPIRIT BRADA YOU SHOULD REVIEW YOUR ESSAY, KEEP TRY TO FIND THE MEANING OF YOUR ESSAY, THE READER CONFUSED READ YOUR ESSAY.
hi,,,
There are 8 (i suggested you to write in word no number)thingsfactors(avoid using "thing" in academic writing) which able to leads us(refers to??) to besuccessful .
Try to do something thatwhat you love, not struggle ...
If you work for lovelove what you work, money comes anyway. The second thing is WORK, so we have to work and fun to make everything easy.
... repeat practice to make somethingeverything to beperfect.
... focusing our self in one thingpurpose.
... got to serve others something value.
(PLEASE AVOID USING SOMETHING, THING BECAUSE SUCH WORDS IS INFORMAL, NOT USED THAT IN ACADEMIC WRITING)
There are 8 things which ARE able to leads us to success.
First of all is PASSION. Try to do something that you love, not struggle just for money. BETTER TO MERGE INTO A COMPLEX SENTENCE
=first of all is passion in which people try to do something they love instead of just struggle for earning money.
If you work for love, money WILL comes anyway.
Second thing is WORK, so we have to work and fun[fun is not verb. to make it parallel, you may say TO WORK AND ENJOY IT] to make everything easy.
Next thing is GOOD. There is no magic, we have to repeat ROUTINELY practice to make something perfect. Then FOCUS, we have to focusing our self in one thing .
Then SERVE, we have got to serve others something valueS. Next is IDEA, just think for simple things to build up the creativity. The last is PERSIST, it is most important ...
Mechanically use cohesive devices
repetition
avoid write 'thing' since it is too general and contains ambiguity
Helllo brother
let me give you some advices
First of all is PASSION >> firstly, passion,
If you work forwith love, money comes anyway
Second thing is WORK, so we have to work and fun ... >> second, working. we have to strive and enjoy whatever we do
Next thing is GOOD. There is no magic, we have to repeat ... >> third, good. make more practices to make it perfect.
keep writing
corrections:
There are 8(in academic writing for showing number, you should utilize word) things which able to leads (your subject is plural, you no need to use "s" after your verb) us to success.
First of all(,)(please use comma after first of all) is PASSION. Try to do something ......
If you work forwith(maybe you should use with for this context) love, money comes.....
You should check your essay again, it cause hard to find out the purpose of your writing
Keep writing!
Hi Fauzan,
There are 8 things which are able to leads us to successsucceed .
... you love, not only struggle just for money. If you work for love, money will comes anyway.
... and fun to make everythingfeel easy.
... to repeat practiceSto make somethingso that it would be perfect.
Hopefully it helps.