IELTS Writing Task 2: Security Cameras and Cellphone Tracking

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technological experts have paid more attention to the development of monitoring tolls such as cameras and cellphone tracking in order to record people activities without realizing it. Whilst the trend can improve security and safety, it is also believed that the equipment restricts personal privacy.

Recently, some city councils have installed surveillance in public places, especially in high-crime areas, as to secure people from criminals. Statistics shows that a growing number of closed-circuit television (CCTV) have been set in New York in order to prevent people who want to do some crimes. As a result, crime rate in the big city decreases significantly in the light of the advanced technologies.

...

Hi!

Technological experts have paid morea lot of attention to the development of monitoring tolls such as cameras and cellphone tracking in order to record people activities without realizing it (?) their permission .

Recently, some city councils have installed surveillance in public places, especially in high-crime areas,so as to secureprotect people from criminals

Statistics shows that a growing number of closed-circuit television (CCTV) have been set in New York in order to prevent people who want to do some crimesfrom committing crimes .

In addition, virtually(?) (some ) countries use cellphone tracking to find (provide is better) solid evidence in several criminal cases such as corruptionof bribery .

Indonesian Corruption Watch, for example, has used the technology to detect corrupt and collusive people who are corrupt and collusive

On the other hand, many people complain that technological tools such as cameras and cellphone tracking have limited their freedom to do some personal activities -- this part is awkward.

On the other hand, many people complain that technological tools such as cameras and cellphone tracking interfere with their private lives --- May be better

In Auckland, for example, are many video recorders which have been are still uninstalled due to the reason of human rights --- this is a bit clumsy, too :)

Although this measure possibly will decrease (compromise is better) safety and security,many people becomefind it convenient because they are not kept under surveillance.

...brings advantages such as improvingthe improvement of security and safety,..

Hope this is helpful :)
Good luck!