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Seven key takeaways from Donald Trump


ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 15, 2016   #1
There are several main points that quickly purpose to conduct such as immigration, health care, and the supreme court. Turning to the specification programs. Firstly, the wall might just be a fence, it means there is a construction the fence on the border between U.S. and Mexico so that there is a gap among those countries. Secondly, Trump has the promise to deport immigrants undocumented. Thirdly, it will be an alteration from before to merge between U.S. Congress and the White House. Fourthly, sending a message to demonstrator contained about do not worried since Trump only wants to turn back U.S. in the past. Fifthly, he needs much time to fulfill his promise for restricting the abortion. Sixthly, Trump wants to control his social media such a twitter since it will be embarrassing himself. The last, a desire to focus on him aims rather than to serve the email scandal of Hillary Clinton.

time
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 15, 2016   #2
Riandi,

Listing ideas might be good sometimes, but I think too many of them would possibly cause some detrimental effects as well. Normally, people mostly list their ideas into three major points. Six or even seven ideas in a single paragraph somehow is not an acceptable paragraphing structure after-all. However, my detailed feedback on the most noticeable errors would be described below.

- ...and the Supreme Court.(it should be in capitalized form)
- Turning to the specification programs.(Can you call this a sentence? Where are the subject and the verb?)
- Firstly, the wall might just be a fence. (you can choose either make a new sentence or use a semicolon) It means there is a construction the fencea huge fence will be built on the border between U.S. and Mexico, so that there...

- Secondly, Trump has the promisepromises to deport illegal immigrants or immigrants without legal documentsundocumented.
- ThirdlyThen , itthere will be an alteration...
- FourthlyHe also wants to sendsending a message to demonstratorsthat they should not worry about the U.S. because He onlycontained about do not worried since Trump only wants to turn backthe U.S. back in the past.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Nov 15, 2016   #3
Hi Riandi, below are a few suggestions to modify your essay.

- There are several main points that quickly purpose to conduct such ...- this sentence is very confusing, I believe you mean this;

There are several points that can be drawn from Donald Trump's speech such as immigration, health care and the supreme court rulings.

You see, as you are starting an essay, you have to make sure that you have established the subject and the goal of the essay first before substituting the idea.


- Turning to the specification programs.
- Firstly , the wall might just be a fence,
- but it means there is a construction the fence on the border between U.S. and Mexico
- so that there is aand this is the gap among
- thosethis two countries.
- SecondlyNext , Trump has the promised to deport undocumented immigrants undocumented .
- Thirdly , it will be an alteration from before tohe plans to merge betweenthe U.S. Congress and ...

There you have it Riandi, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and as usual, I would like you to hone your editing skills so I left you with a few sentences where you can practice your proofreading skills.
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 16, 2016   #4
Hello, let me give my correction

There are several main points that quickly purpose to conduct quickly

Turning to the specification programs . Firstly, the wall might just be a fence, it meansthat there is a construction

Secondly, Trump has the promise to deport many immigrants

thank you
alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 16, 2016   #5
Hello, I will give you my correction.
There are three main points that ...

Secondly, Trump has the promise to deport ...

... contained about don'tworry since Trump only ...

Thanks


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