Nowadays, shopping online has been spread widely over the world

hi guys! this is the first time i did a ielts writing task 2. can you help me correct my mistakes, give me some advices and guess my band! thank you so much!🥰

ielts writing task 2 about shopping online

topic:do the advantages of shopping on the internet outweigh the dis advantages?

Nowadays, shopping online has been spread widely among all classes. Despite having its own downsides, the returns are highly justifiable.
I reckon that making online purchases is beneficial in helping us save time. Truly, it shortens our time looking for the items. Also, we will have a more controlling view in order to choose the goods effectively. Shopping online is hassle-free. Customers can order what they feel compelled to buy by only "a click". We do not have to go to the market which is crowded with plenty of people. Especially in this covid19 pandemic, staying home becomes the countersign, will, goal toward which individuals are heading. Besides, more and more people shopping online means our society is evolved dramatically. Therefore, mankind is accessed to a brand new era which internet and technology dominates the world and they will be much more intellectual gradually.

On the other hand, there are certain drawbacks people need to consider. First, shopping on the internet may be utilized to be a cheat by the greedy. You could not know what will be delivered to your home unless you ordered it on a noticeable prestigious website. Alongside it, not only the item's oversights but also the murder cases through online purchases now rise notoriously. Second, we may become any kind of inconvenience in paying for the bill. Some websites do not kit the customers out for paying cash (COD) or cost higher if you choose this type.

In conclusion, shopping online's advantages outweigh the disadvantages finally in spite of its minimal flaws. People still acclaim making online purchases for the convenience and the saving of time it brings.

For band scoring, you will need to refer to our premium services where I will privately review and score your essay. Do not rely on scores provided by fellow students, should any of them try to do so (at the risk of account suspension) because they are not trained professionals who can accurately score your work based on specific criteria.

Your first paragraph should be a clear representation or restatement of the original discussion. I do not see a reference to all of the keyword elements from the original. You have a single line representing the restatement that does not respond to the question provided nor do you offer a clear idea as to what the actual discussion will be covering. You have responded that there are downsides with justifiable returns. That is not the question being asked. The question is whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your response is not in accordance with the discussion instructions. The response is therefore, in error and cannot receive a passing TA score based on the prompt requirements for that section. Add to that the other problems of the essay in thought clarity, grammar usage, among others, and you have a non-passing essay presentation. The overall thought process is also scattered, lacking in definite focus for the discussion. You are not on target with this written presentation.