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The simplify of food preparation---toefl essay



MrTom 6 / 13  
Aug 21, 2010   #1
I want you read through my essay and tell me what you think about it. Thank you for your time.

Topic:

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

My essay:

The simplify of food preparation has a great impact on people's daily life. However, it still causes some problems.

Imagining people who lived past hunting elephants or running after antelopes for meat. They spent their whole day looking for food. Nowadays , we don't do that any more. We can grab some bites from Mcdonald's or go to restaurants .By this way , we save a lot of time and energy so that we can spare them on something else which we are more interested. One great effect result from this is more professionals. Because people dedicate more time in the fields of their interests , they soon become professional with it and that's partly why we have a variety of jobs. From more and more professional jobs, our technology and civilization are booming .

Moreover, the change of food preparation also gives people more space to put their creativity into making delicious food. Not only more materials appear in supermarkets , but also more different ways of cooking are invented. People begin to enjoy those tasty food come from different culture and countries which makes them live effectively and happily. By a survey , ninety percent of people think eating nice food give them pleasure and help them work efficiently.

However, as making food becoming easier . More and more food are available especially fast food like coke and hamburgers. The fat and sugar people get every day from food increased dramatically which resulted in many healthy problems. Over-weight people are more common. One can easily recall several over-weight people around his/her neighborhood. And many more diseases caused by unhealthy eating habits appeared.

In the end, easier food preparation indeed bring some advantages to human life .But on the other side ,it also brings some problems .Weather it improve or descend people's life quality should take their eating habits and awareness of keeping fit into consideration.


plb 2 / 3  
Aug 21, 2010   #2
I fixed some grammatical errors:

The simplify of food preparation has a great impact on people's daily life. However, it still causes some problems.

Imagine people who lived in the past hunting elephants or running after antelopes for meat. They spent their whole day looking for food. Nowadays , we don't do that any more. We can grab some bites from Mcdonald's or go to restaurants . This way , we save a lot of time and energy so that we can expend them on something elsein which we are more interested. One great effect that results from this is more professionals. Because people dedicate more time in the fields of their interests , they soon become professional with it, and that's partly why we have a variety of jobs. From more and more professional jobs, our technology and civilization is booming .

Moreover, the change of food preparation also gives people more space to put their creativity into making delicious food. Not only do more materials appear in supermarkets , but also more different ways of cooking are invented. People begin to enjoy those tasty foodsthat come from different cultures and countries, which makes them live effectively and happily. By a survey , ninety percent of people think eating nice food gives them pleasure and helps them work efficiently.

However, as making food becoming easier, more and more foods are available, especially fast food like coke and hamburgers. The fat and sugar people get every day from food has increased dramatically, which has resulted in many healthy problems. Over-weight people are more common. One can easily recall several over-weight people around his or her neighborhood. Also, many more diseases caused by unhealthy eating habits has appeared.

In the end, easier food preparation does indeed bring some advantages to human life .But on the other side ,it also brings some problems .Whetherit improve s or decreases people's life quality should takenshould be taken into consideration when dealing with their eating habits and awareness of keeping fit into consideration .
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 23, 2010   #3
Take your time and write a few sentences in that first paragraph. Really explain what you mean to say, and end the paragraph with a thesis sentence.

The simplification of food preparation has a great impact on people's daily life. However, it still causes some problems. (Now give a few sentences to say exactly what your opinion is.)

Imagining people who lived past at a time when it was necessary to hunt elephants or run after antelopes for meat. They spent their ...

However, as making food is becoming easier. More and more foods are available...
or
More and more food is available.

Food is...
Foods are...

This one too:
Preparation brings...
Preparations bring...
In the end, easier food preparation indeed brings some advantages ...

:-)


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