Six categories of energy consumed / predicted to use - in the US over a period of 50 years.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Please help me correct or make the sentence more beautiful. Thanks!

My writing:

The line graph compares six categories of energy consumed and will be consumed in the US over a period of 50 years.

It's clear that total amount of energy consumed increase considerably between 1980 and 2030. The most dramatic change was seen in petrol and oil and Coal. Petrol and oil takes the largest part of all energy consumed.

In 1980, around 35 quadrillion units come from petrol and oil. Coal and Natural gas, which are the second largest sources of energy consumed, are responsible for about 20 quadrillion units. Nuclear, Solar/Wind and Hydropower, which account for least parts, stood at around 4 quadrillion units.

By 2030, all types of energy are predicted to be consumed more. Consumption of Petrol and Oil is expected to reach over 45. Coal is also predicted to rise considerably, to over 25. Natural Gas has a small increase by 5 quadrillion units. Nuclear, Solar/Wind and Hydropower will increase within 3 quadrillion units.

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Hi Mandy, below are my observations on your analysis;

- It's clear that the total
- amount of energy consumed in the USA ( you have to indicate your subject in order to establish it, then you can substitute it in the succeeding sentences )

- petrol and oil andas well as Coal.
- the energy consumed.

- comecame from petrol and oil.
- sources of energy consumed,

There you have it Mandy, overall, the analysis was written well, you just have to make sure of the consistency of your information, make sure that the unit of measurement is either mentioned in the beginning of the analysis or you write it side by side the figure that is extracted from the given graph. Also, you need to make sure that your subject is properly manifested in your writing and this should be done in the beginning too. I hope this insights help!

Mandy, I can see that you have gathered a very comprehensive feedback from one of EssayForum contributors. I would like to give additional analysis towards your essay development by pointing out your weaknesses with hope that you will be able to strengthen it in the next practice. Therefore, I hope you can follow through my feedback in the detailed descriptions below.

- Minimum words limit is really essential. If this was a handwriting, 158 words of your essay is possible to be counted as below 150 words. My suggestion is that you should aim for 165 - 190 words for IELTS task 1 writing.

- Your paragraphing style was not well-structured. You need to remember that a paragraph should at least consists of 3 sentences. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the chart you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, particularly your third paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which becomes one of the important criteria in IELTS writing task 1. So the following still needs work.

In 1980, around 35 quadrillion (1st sentence)
Nuclear, Solar / Wind and Hydropower... (2nd sentence)
In addition,.... (3rd sentence)

HI Mandy, below are my suggestions for your analysis.

- It's clear that the total amount
- of energy consumed, ( don't forget your punctuation marks ) increase considerably
- and oil andas well as Coal.

- which accounts for the least
- parts,and stood at around 4 quadrillion units.

There you have it Mandy, overall, it is a well written analysis, you were able to draw your understanding of the graph and you managed to explain this comprehension in your analysis.

However, for future writing reference, aside from creating the basis of the analysis, you have to properly indicate the unit of measurement in the beginning of the analysis, this will save you from not mentioning the units in the later part of the essay, pretty much the outline of the analysis should be written in the headline.