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Smoking is detrimental to the smoker and those who are nearby - smoking ban in public places

TriceLiu 11 / 25  
Jul 31, 2018   #1

Banning Smoking in Public Places

Prompt: Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer: Smoking is believed to be detrimental to the smoker and those who are nearby, and thus should to be prohibited in public places. I tend to agree with this argument for two reasons.

The first reason is that those who smoke in public places harm others' health. Public places, such as buses, shopping centers, and hospitals are often crowded, which means a large number of people will suffer from second-hand smoke if one person smokes. This air pollution in public places may cause coughing, high-blood pressure and even lung cancer in those who do not smoke. Second-hand smoke could be particularly harmful to children and the elderly, whose respiratory system are likely to be vulnerable. Banning smoking in public places would protect people's health by creating a secondhand smoke free environment.

Second, for smokers, forbidding smoking in public places would reduce their chance to smoke, which is good for their health. If workplaces ban smoking, for example, workers would have to go elsewhere in order to smoke. This inconvenience could contribute to a decline in their frequency of smoking. Additionally, some may resolve to quit smoking as it becomes more and more difficult to find a place to smoke. In this way, prohibition of smoking in public places would rid those who smoke of the detrimental habit.

In conclusion, banning smoking in public places would benefit non-smokers, by protecting them from second-hand smoke; meanwhile, such prohibition could help smokers reduce their frequency of smoking. That is why I completely agree that smoking should be forbidden in public places.
PaulthePhoenix 4 / 16  
Aug 1, 2018   #2
Dear Tricie Liu
Your essay is neat and thorough with clear structure. However, I would argue that you can change the second paragraph in the body into the first one. By that way, it matched with the requirement of the topic "Not only harm the smoker (body1) but also those who nearby (body 2)

You also need to improve on your lexical resource and sentence form to make yourself clearer. For example in your 2nd paragraph: One people smoking in public places can coerce thousands of other people into suffering. Besides the common symtomp of coughing, breathing problem, those who have a long and constant exposure to the exhaust of cigarettes can experience severe disease such as....

Again for the 2nd paragraph, diversify your sentence vocab and structure would be nice. For example, If there is a restriction on smoking in all companies, cigarette consumers will reluctantly find elsewhere to practice their harmful routine

For the conclusion, you can combine it into one sentence by saying I strong believe that anning smoking in public pla, ces would benefit non-smokers...

Good job, keep practicing, Tricie!

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