Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Social celebration and money spent



athachng2002 3 / 5  
Jul 19, 2019   #1

Some people say that celebrations are a waste of money



People often relate celebration as a confirmation of happiness, when music, food, and relations are inherent to be a part of joy. Against the wave of having no problem in spending money on these occasions, there is a strong disapproval in which folks believe such huge wages should not been wasted.

For individuals who consider parties as crucial, these are the most suitable time to share happiness widely and create more memories. Wedding, birthday or a grand opening ceremony are the result of people in their quest for love and success, which mark a meaning in their lives. Getting people involved in these events is a way to tell happy stories and exchange positive emotions. Moreover, the moment when people spend time to come and cheer, dance, sing with party holders creates a memorable piece of life, together with building a much stronger relationship.

In the opposite viewpoint, others may disagree with that way of spending partly due to their objection to showing-off lifestyle. Making a vast investment on celebrations doesn't add more positive feelings to event holders, but rather the temporary satisfaction when their achievement, together with the affordability for big events, reach out to people. More dangerously, it can result in a meaningless money-based tradition, and those not having firm financial background are likely to suffer from unconfidence and self-suspicion.

Personally, I totally disagree with the way in which money are spent uselessly on celebrations. As long as human being continue to depend on the physical values in seeking for inner happiness, in the end what they can find is merely vague experience they have created to impress people.

Maria - / 1096  
Jul 20, 2019   #2
@athachng2002
Hello there. I see that you're new here. Welcome to the forum. I'll be providing you with writing feedback. I hope you find the feedback you're looking for here.

Generally, you need to work on your grammar. There are technical aspects of writing such as the consistency of text and tenses that need a little bit more work. Furthermore, your usage of punctuation can also be enhanced and worked upon.

Try to incorporate more substantive and concrete examples throughout your writing. How do you say that spending does not equate to happiness and satisfaction in these celebrations? How have you observed this? In which particular events is this more noticeable?

Being specific will definitely help you in the long-run.

Good luck!
OP athachng2002 3 / 5  
Jul 21, 2019   #3
Thank you so much Maria. Your comment helps me a lot!


Home / Writing Feedback / Social celebration and money spent
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳