Traffic congestion
The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There has been a discussion about whether the governmental authorities should address traffic halt by supplying shared vehicles free of charge all day and all week. While I believe that this brings several benefits, I would argue that it has also a number of negative impacts on the society. It leaves no doubt that there are several reasons for making public transport uncharged as a means to deal with the increased number of vehicles during rush hours. Firstly, it may act as a contributing factor to reduce private cars and motorbikes on the road. This is because when buses or trains are free of charge, people have a tendency to take advantage of them rather than their own vehicles, which leads to a decline in traffic problems.
Secondly, proving shared transport all day can change people's attitude towards means of transportation. For example, if officers leave their company at late night, they have almost no choice apart from driving their cars or motorbikes. Thanks to the provision of buses and underground, they can go home safe and sound without any difficulties. This gradually gets them into the habit of making use of public transport more frequent and at any time of the day. However, there are several alternatives which can be implemented to deal with the problem of traffic jam. Firstly, it is understandable that transport infrastructure should be upgraded. By doing so, the roads are widened and people have more space to travel without having to afraid of inching along the streets. Broader roads also means higher speed for all vehicles, therefore, the amount of traffic at the same time on the road may be significantly decreased leading to less congestion. Secondly, relocating industrial zones to the countryside is another effective solution to traffic jam in big cities. The high concentration of massive companies in those zones results in a wave of job seekers moving from rural to urban areas, which imposes a burden on transport system. The relocation helps cope with traffic halt by reducing road users, especially at rush hours when employees come home from their workplace.
In conclusion, while a free and all day available public transport may seem to be a beneficial solution, I believe that other more effective measures should be taken into consideration to deal with traffic congestion.
Your sentence structures are confusing and overly complicated in my view. First body graph statement "It leaves no doubt that there are several reasons.." is overly complicated, you can write like "there are several reasons". Similarly statement "This is because when buses or trains...." can be rewritten as "Since buses or trains are more affordable and convenient, people will prefer public transportation rather than their own automobiles, and traffic congestion will reduce significantly".
Furthermore, for linking words, try to use varieties like "First of all, To begin, Furthermore, Additionally" instead of repeating the same one.
Lastly, the essay is asking "should the government provide free ..." Remember this is opinion essay, not a "problem and solution essay". The ideal response should be
Opinion - "Yes, the government should provide free public transportation 24X7, as traffic congestion is becoming huge issue day by day"
Supporting idea 1 - since it is free of charge, people will be more motivated to use it and they will not use their own automobiles. example - bus services in the national parks
Supporting idea 2 - it will be available for 24 hours and 7 days, therefore, frequency and interval of buses will be great and people will more rely on them. Eventually, they will solely depend on public transportation.
You can expands these supporting ideas into two paragraphs. Hopefully, this helps.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 Nguyen, the essay that you wrote is not going to get a passing score because your whole approach to the discussion is wrong. This is an extent based opinion essay, it is not a simple agree or disagree essay. Neither is it a benefit or advantage and disadvantage essay. Your discussion does not apply to the given prompt. Look at this outline to understand why your error created a prompt deviation that created a failing score essay because you did not get the topic for discussion nor the discussion style right:
Original Instruction: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your Response: While I believe that this brings several benefits, I would argue that it has also a number of negative impacts on the society.
Rather than discussing the extent of your opinion on the given topic, you chose to create your own discussion points instead. This runs counter to the original prompt and will result in a failed TA score. Once the TA fails, the rest of the essay scoring points cannot be given a passing mark either. An error in the discussion response that is this serious will make the examiner realize that you did not understand the instructions for the discussion. As such, you are definitely not prepared to attend an English speaking academic institution overseas. Your lack of instruction comprehension means that your English abilities are only at the beginner level. It is not even intermediate at this point since you created a prompt deviation that is in no way related to the original discussion instruction.
Do not write the essay just for the sake of writing a response. You need to make sure that you are properly responding to the essay. Before you write more practice tests, read more model essay samples first. We have more than a handful of those to offer you here. Learn from the lessons taught to the others and apply those suggestions to your future practice writing tests.
