Somes go to university for a better job. Somes take a job after school. Discuss advantages

continuing study or get a job?

After graduating from high school, we always have two options: some students want to continue their education at university or college for a better job and somes want to get a job straight after school. While there are benefits to who wants to study at university (college), there are also good reasons why it might be beneficial to who has a job after being a high school student.

First, let's talk about how the university would become one of the shortest way to have a good job. If you want to have a successful career, you need to have well-qualification, meanwhile, the university is a place which can help you to achieve that. At university, there are many high-quality teachers and good facilities that you will need for your future. Besides, studying in an educational environment can create some relationships that are on good terms with classmates, lecturers, professors may help us in the future. Furthermore, before having an actual job, the university will have a program called "internship". There, we can practice in a very professional environment. We do not afraid of making mistakes because it is one of the ways we gain experience which helps us not to be too surprised about what we are going to do in reality. Moreover, people having a university degree usually get a higher chance than people who do not.

On the contrary, there are variety reasons why many students choose to take a job right after high school graduation. As I said before,the university is one of the shortest way to have a good job, but it is not the only way leading to a successful career. With some people who have a bravery personality, they can stand on their own without educating at university. Instead of that, they choose to be a "start-up" running their own business. In addition, when working early in young age, we always have more experience than anyone else's. The more challenges, difficulties we choose to face with, the more mature we are.

In conclusion, it seems evident that both studying at university and going to work after school advantageous in their own ways

Since you did not post the full prompt, I cannot properly review your essay. The topic you chose to write about seems to be a mix of 2 different IELTS prompts so I would need to read the actual prompt to be sure about how I should analyze the content and presentation of your essay. So I'll focus on the format instead.

There is a 5 sentence limitation for all the paragraphs. You must also make sure to present a proper mix of simple and complex sentences in your paragraphs. It appears that you have mistaken run-on sentences for complex sentences. Long sentences do not mean it is a complex sentence. However, it does mean that it is a confusing sentence to read as it becomes difficult to keep track of your discussion topics and presentation. Avoid overwriting, but do not underwrite either.

The concluding paragraph is not presented in the reverse paraphrase format. It is also too short. You need to familiarize yourself with the proper rephrasing requirements for those 2 sections. You can read examples of how to properly format those paragraphs at this forum through the reading of previous sample works.

maybe you should use "let us" instead of "let's". This way, u can make ur essay more formal. Also, check your grammar :v "one of the shortest ways", u missed the "s"

@Holt
thank you so much for your response