Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Nowadays, a son or a daughter can learn at home and some people believe that this is the best way



Beauty17 56 / 79  
Nov 29, 2016   #1
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.


Nowadays, son and daughter can learn at home where some people believe that this is the best way. While, for another, they prefer that it is important for children to go to school. This essay first will discuss about the advantage of studying at home or known as homeschooling which makes children do not be limited by restrict school rule and obligation while if they study at school they can get more friends. Personally, I am more likely if children learn at school because in that place they learn how to be responsible person.

To begin with, homeschooling or study at school has its each positive side and those types of learning are suited with needs of children. For instance, Aurelia Hermansyah, one of Indonesia teenage singers. She has many activities to perform on air or off air thus she is not able to follow rule and obligation to study at school. As a result, she chooses learning at home which is appropriate with her condition.

In contrast, children who are able to study at school will feel different advantages. They can meet a large number of people then have a lot of friends. They are going to more grasp about struggling when they study together with their peers. Based on the data of Sara Lim from National University of Singapore in 2015, children who study at school are more able to achieve their maximal of building character because of they socialize in their group which taking role 47% in their future life. That way in my view, I choose children to go to school not only for that reason but also they become more responsible toward their school obligation. In fact that, they will appreciate time because school forces them to start the class in early morning. Moreover, from school they learn how to finish many assignments well. Therefore, the peak of character building to responsible is formed at school.

To sum up, Juvenile will free from many school rules and assignments when they study at home. Meanwhile, young people learning at school will get a huge number of friends. In my perspective, the main good affect from school is responsible which school put on each student.

ilankelo21 36 / 40  
Nov 29, 2016   #2
Mei, be careful of using a certain phrase. (To begin with) is only suitable to use when the writers want to describe a process having several steps. The phrase itself is used at the start of the event or process. Look up on your Cambridge dictionary, if you need a further explanation.

Furthermore, I noticed a big problem on the coherency of your essay, especially in your first body paragraph. As indicated in your introduction, being free from the tight rule stated in school is one advantage of taking homeschooling, yet an explanation confirming this thesis statement is limited and you only describe a celebrity not capable of following some obligations in school. . I hope you still have willingness to refine this essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / Nowadays, a son or a daughter can learn at home and some people believe that this is the best way
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳