IELTS WRITING TASK 2: HOW TO SPEND LEISURE TIME IN THE MOST BENEFICIAL WAY?

TOPIC:Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.

Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

THE IMPORTANT RELAX TIME

ESSAY:
Leisure time is important to our personal lives because it takes our mind off as work or the news. However there has been a discussion on how to spend our leisure time wisely. Some argue that we should make use of that time to improve our minds rather than to rest the mind. I believe that we should interchange both training our brains and letting them relax from time to time.

On one hand, training our minds with intellectual activities such as crossword games or reading books, when we have free time can be beneficial to our personal life as well as our work life. For example, sudoku is a crossword game that helps build our logical thinking. This means if we spend 40 minutes a day playing sudoku, we will day by day improve on our logical processing, and improve on how fast we can connect given information which can be very handy when we are asked to solve a problem in a workplace.

Nevertheless, relaxing our minds is as important as enhancing our minds. When we get off from work, some days may seem more tiring and stressful than the usual which takes away our energy to do anything else. At those times, what we do not need is to overwork our brains trying to finish a book or a puzzle. In return, we should do activities that do not require much thinking such as watching a movie or listening to music. As a result, we become less stressful and more relaxed.

In conclusion, both ways of spending our leisure time have their own benefits, but switching between both methods can be even more beneficial.

Hi,
In my opinion, your content is great and well-structured. However, I notice that there are two grammatical mistakes that would make the meaning of whole sentence inappropriate.

- The important relax time: I guess you meant that "The importance of relaxing time". I suggest you changing the words to "spare time" or "leisure time" with the same meanings.

- Some days may seem more tiring ... else: You may be right, but I consider this sentence was not clear enough because I can't get what you meant exactly. I think that "some days" cannot be tiring and stressful, this should be replaced by subjects indicating humans (namely we, they), changed the adjective "tiring" to "tired" and added adverb "sometimes" .