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iELTS Spending a lot on holding wedding celebrations are waste others are oppose



devabe2005 46 / 96  
Jan 22, 2013   #1
Question:
Spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

Ansswer:

Celebration bring people together and help to forget our worries. Some people think that celebrating public or private provides happiness, others think that it is unnecessary. In this essay I will discuss both the views in detail.

Apparently, celebrations help to show love and affection to family members, friends and relatives. Boots bond between each other. It opens away to new contact which is obligatory for everyday business. Confers way for community links like Diwali, Christmas and New year. For example, In India, Diwali is celebrated by all communities, religions and various age groups with excitement and greet each other and share their brotherhood. It teach traditional skills and maintain different cultural identities.

On the other hand, spending lavishly to show their rich status and respect. Throwing large amount for decoration, clothes and vehicles, so forth are unnecessary. It should be under budget and they have to use it for investing and saving. For example, the report says savings help many business keep moving.

In a nutshell, though it provides some amount but it gives cheerfulness and get-together with loved ones. Spending for celebration with limited amount and saving it for future. It gives enjoyment in both celebration and investment.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 22, 2013   #2
Celebrations bring people

Celebration bring people together and help to forget our worries.

... Awesome ; very impressive :)
Celebrations bring people together and help forget our worries. .... I omitted the word "to". You really do not need it though it is not incorrect with it too :D

Some people think that celebrating public or private provides happiness, others think that it is unnecessary.

... ... you need to bring the money part into this line, because your prompt is aimed at that;
Some people think that celebrating public or private events is important for this reason. (this refers to the earlier line)However, others view this activity as a waste of money.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jan 22, 2013   #3
On the other hand, spending lavishly to show their rich status and respect.

This sentence seems incomplete. Let me help you...

On the other hand, some people spend lavishly just to show how rich and powerful they are. Their status and respect among st the community will be shown.

Throwing large amount for decoration, clothes and vehicles, so forth are unnecessary. It should be under budget and they have to use it for investing and saving. For example, the report says savings help many business keep moving.

Hmmm... These lines need rephrasing.. Your idea does not come out nicely.
joythblessy 86 / 266  
Jan 22, 2013   #4
hai Dev..

Show their status and respect..: respect is not not clear...).

Overall good attempt..

Tessy
OP devabe2005 46 / 96  
Jan 23, 2013   #5
hi joythblessy
Show their status and to get respect from others ---> i missed to explained about respect


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