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Too much is spent on pets than starving people of Africa, your opinion.


Andy Nguyen 1 / -  
Sep 3, 2010   #1
TOO MUCH... SPENT? ANDY NGUYEN
"What is your opinion on that too much is spent on nurturing and caring of our pets than the starving people of Africa?"

Society is in constant state of change resulting from new developments in the area of knowledge and technology. Visualize a life without: electricity, internet, computers, automatic machines, and such. Humans and their companions (pets) are able to thrive and live with ease due to everyday technology. With this technology people have spent money to make their pets happy. Expensive organic food and mineral rich water made with our technology for our pets. Even pet-specific spas and designer clothing lines for pets are on the list. But because of this do we neglect our on species across the ocean on Africa where they do not even know of computers and food for animals?

Initially let us take a logical stand point. Pets are domesticated animals and therefore cannot take care of themselves. However that is not the only case when a person receives a pet that assume the responsibility of their pet's well-being and health and therefore are in debt of the pet. A pet health bill may contain some terrifying numbers but it is a consequence for owning a pet but it's the owner's responsibility. If they are not responsible enough than they should leave it to someone else to take care of the pet.

A pet to some people are literal family members such as when elderly people raise a pet as if they were their own children. These people may have already had children where they are now grown and living their own lives. If these pets were your children you would: raise them, nurture them, pay for everything they need and makes they get the best possible life they can. That is the case for some people. I am almost ONE HUNDRED percent sure many parents would do this for their children if possible.

This question is the same thing as asking "Why do you buy yourself expensive clothing, expensive meals, a nice car, a nice house or flowers for your love than the starving people of African?" The question is influenced and judgmental. It aims specifically to create a critical standpoint in which you have to compare the two and look at pros and cons and you HAVE to pick a side.

To finish, the statement has not been proven. Where are all the statistics and document and papers that say people spend more money on pets than starving people of Africa? Not everyone is a philanthropist and gives money to charities and fundraisers. Yet it is not because people don't want to it's because some people can't. "A dollar makes all the difference." Sometimes that dollar may not go where the giver intended for it to go.

This is my opinion on this matter.

1) Teacher said doesn't have to be essay anything you want.
2) Just needed to answer question

I'm just looking for a bit of proof reading and grammar check.
But if any problems come up, any recommendations are welcome.
shadejade 4 / 19  
Sep 3, 2010   #2
Maybe find another word for technology, such as advancements or creations. Your point is not made clear throughout the text until the end. Also, maybe talk a little more about the people starving in Africa.

Society is in A constant state of change resulting from new developments in the area of knowledge and technology. VisualizeImagine a life without: electricity, internet, computers, automatic machines, and such.

With this technologythese advancements people have spent money to makepamper their pets happy . Expensive organic food and mineral rich water made with our technology for our pets. Even pet-specific spas and designer clothing lines for pets are on the list. But because of this doshould we neglect our on specieskind across the ocean onin Africa where they do not even know of computers and food for animals?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 5, 2010   #3
But because of this, do we neglect our own species across the ocean in Africa, where they do not even know of computers and organic food ?

Standpoint is one word.

Capitalize Internet.

If these pets were your children you would: raise them, nurture them, pay for everything they need and make them experience the best possible life they can.

This is written incorrectly:
"What is your opinion on that too much is spent on nurturing and caring of our pets than the starving people of Africa?"

It should say this:
"What is your opinion on the idea that too much is spent on nurturing and caring of our pets than when an insufficient amount is spent to help the starving people of Africa?"

I think you should write a sentence that tells your opinion. Tell your opinion in a single sentence, and put it at the end of the first paragraph as your THESIS STATEMENT.


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