Sport is reducing international controversies and leads citizens to express their patriotism

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

a tournament instead of war

That numerous tournaments held globally all year round is crucial in reducing international controversies and enhancing citizens to express their love for their nations securely. From my perspective, I completely agree with this idea.

To commence with, one of the benefits that annual championships have is their profound impacts on easing disputes among countries. There are various worldwide commercial negotiations taking place every day and some leads to conflicts when two sides cannot reach an agreement. To resolve these political and economic issues, intercontinental tournaments are constantly held to boost globalization. World Cup is a justification for that. Not only does the host country can obtain opportunities to propagate its tourism and inhabitants, it is given a chance as the place of friendship and solidarity among nations. Briefly, seeing that the connection that every sporting competition can bring to us, peace remains.

On the other hand, it is obvious that universal competitions can stimulate each athlete to try their best to compete for the honor of the country they come from. When a contestant is put in the competition with a large number of contestants from all over the world, he or she will have a tendency to perform in his or her best progress so as to be stand out from the crowd. For instance, the last part of each match in every competition is the national honor ceremony which can be done by playing national anthem song of the winner and thousands of audiences and spectators will witness the winner's flag gradually hung up to the top. To conclude, international sporting occasions is the time for the contribution and recognition of each individual as well as each nation to the better world.

In conclusion, it is inevitable benefits that international tournaments can reduce conflicts among countries in every field. Besides, they are also the time for friendship and solidarity among individuals and nations.

(315 words)

Dang, the above example is inaccurate and does not properly represent the prompt requirements in the paraphrased statement that you were expected to represent in the first paragraph. The problem with your presentation is that you did it in only 2 sentences, thus causing a confusing run-on sentence in the first part and a simplified but proper response to the prompt discussion question at the end. The more appropriate paraphrase is as follows:

The World Cup is one of the international sporting events that have an important function on the global stage. It is believed by most that the aforementioned event, along with some other international athletic affairs, promotes the easing of global contention as well as allowing a country's citizens to portray his love for his country in a controlled environment. I completely agree with this idea.

The key thing to remember when stating your opinion is that is must use the same keywords as the original instruction. So, when asked about the extent of your opinion, using the term "completely" indicates a clear understanding of the discussion question and will increase your score. Saying "in sync" does not provide an "extent" response and hence, would have decreased your score instead.

You could have easily had a 3 body paragraph essay here, which would have further boosted your scoring indicators. When you discussed the first reason regarding the way that sports helps ease tensions among international business competitors, you should have stopped at the point about how international competition is held to boost globalization. Using the world Cup explanation in an expanded manner in its own paragraph would have created a longer and more accurate explanation on your part. The following should be presented as separate paragraphs:

Reason
Supporting Explanation
Example

Your concluding paragraph has potential. It needs to be expanded and improved in terms of delivering the summarized discussion of the essay at the end. You have the potential to write good essays that are bound to get a better than average passing score. You just need proper guidance in order to achieve that.