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Ielts task 2 writing: sports should be part of school program??



katiexd 1 / -  
Jun 24, 2021   #1
Some people argue that sports should be part of the school program, while other state that it is a waste of time and more focus should be given to academic work.

Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion



Students are required to learn a lot of subjects these days; therefore, some people believe that sports ought to be in the school curriculum, but many think it's time consuming and concentrating on academic work is of greater benefits . I completely disagree that sports aren't significant thus should not be included. This essay will discuss both points of view.

On the one hand, some individuals argue that sports are a waste of time, because of that students can't spend time on some core subjects. It also will bring bad-graded potential for exam results while academic skills and scores are the most important focus at school. In Viet Nam, for example parents don't allow their children to take part in sports because they think these will distract them from their important areas and they can't get a good future thanks to that.

On the other hand, it's clear that sports help us to enhance both our physical and mental health. Students can practice exercise to have a flexible body, and also make them reduce their stress after studying for a long time. In some Asian countries, students just care for their study in some necessary subject and get a lot of mental illness like depressions, which often lead to suicide while the one play sports can avoid that simly. practicing sports with friends will bring many benefits like some vital skills about communication, building solidarity between class members. A case in this point is some scientific research think that students, who play sports have strong connections to their friends than others.

In conclusion, I think sports is an essential part of education. If schools can have more sporty games, students can get access to their favourite sports and avoid more diseases in the future.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jun 25, 2021   #2
The keywords "sports" and "academic work" are part of the original prompt. These need to be replaced for better vocabulary scores. "Sports" can be replaced with "athletics " and "school work" maybe termed " academic endeavors" instead. Avoid retaining the original words as this will indicate a limited English vocabulary and lower the score for the essay.

As far as the discussion instruction no concerned, the point of iner used was limited to the personal one. The comparative discussion for the public points of view, the explanation for the basis of each public opinion should be presented in individual paragraphs first. After those explanations, the writer's opinion comes last. This essay cannot be written from a singular pov as that is not the discussion requirement. Each public opinion has a valid reason, explain it via 3rd person group pronouns. Thin explain the writers opinion via 1st person references. That is the needed presentation format. The essay failed to meet the discussion format presentation.


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