Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS essay-sports professionals people vs.people in other essential professions



gmt_snail 3 / 6  
Mar 27, 2010   #1
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


There has been some debate over whether athletes should get higher incomings compared with other crucial professions. I tend to support the view that sportsmen and sportswomen deserve to be paid more.

It is understandable that objectors of this issue consider this as unfair. Professional workers, form scientists to hospital staff or lawyers, do mental work which differs from physical work completed by sports players. It is not just to reward them with different levels of income merely because their work is of various kinds. Additionally, experts in these careers contribute to society as like sports professionals, and their valuable work is worth similar remunerations in terms of money.

At the same time, athletes are deserving of high pay. For one thing, they devote themselves to society and can be an honour to their teams as well as the regions they represent once they win prizes. Such devotion should be repaid in a monetary form, that is, monthly salaries. For another, players only possess a short career life, usually less than 20 years, which means that the time period eligible to gain financial rewards is limited. In the other fields, by contrast, there is no severe span of career life. Hence, more financial rewards are required to cover the time restriction in athletes.

Personally, I reckon that higher payments should be given to sports players, despite the concern of fairness relating to professionals in other areas. They, as a group, do generate numerous honours (to themselves, their teams and the represented areas). Such devotion is permanent in both the action of athletes themselves and the effect on society.

Please help me give it a check:)

EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Mar 28, 2010   #2
There has been some debate over whether athletes should get higher incomings incomes compared with...

It is understandable that objectors of this issue consider this as unfair. ---- excellent idea! It is great to acknowledge the other point of view. Google this Rogerian argument. You did well.

Professional workers, from scientists to hospital staff or lawyers, do mental work which differs from ... ----- good structure in this sentence! Good use of commas.

In the other fields, by contrast, there is no severe limitation on the span of career life.

well done! Please check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS essay-sports professionals people vs.people in other essential professions
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳