Sports sponsorship has become a popular marketing tool used by several corporations

Many companies today sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves

Sports sponsorship has become a popular marketing tool used by several corporations. While the bulk of the general public regards it as a beneficial tendency for the world of sports, others are concerned about its demerits. This essay will examine both standpoints before concluding that I side with the former.

On the one hand, there are several downsides associated with companies sponsoring sports. Chief among them is the potential that financial gain may overshadow the core values and traditions of the sport. Consequently, the rectitude of the sport may get doubted by its fans. To illustrate, the recent commercialization of the FIFA World Cup 2022, the most prestigious football tournament, has faced criticism from football fans as the tournament has accepted sponsorships from corporations with records of violating human rights, causing doubts about the event's genuineness.

On the other hand, business sponsorship has positive impacts on the sports sector. As sponsorship provides much-needed financial support to sports teams and events, which can help them improve facilities and equipment for athletes. As a result, their players can maintain the best form and achieve several titles for the clubs. For example, the multi-million-dollar deals between City Football Group and Manchester City have provided the players with state-of-the-art gym centres and cutting-edge training facilities. As a result, the club has reaped titles and broken records in recent years.

In conclusion, although corporate sponsorship in sports is advantageous, I assume these aids may excessively commercialize the world of sports given the disputes around the FIFA World Cup 2022.

You are not going to receive a score for merely restating the discussion instructions and then giving an irrelevant opinion. You need to provide a relevant opinion that is based on a shortened thesis statement form. What are the reasons you will be discussing the support your opinion? Or, you may say that you side with a certain public opinion and then state the reason. That way you will achieve a proper score based on a completely developed restatement + writer's opinion + thesis statement. Always give the basis of the discussion before going into the discussion paragraphs.

The discussion format will cause a failing score for this essay. There are several things the writer fails to do in this essay:

1. The writer is not explaining the basis of the public opinion using the correct third person pronouns, showing a weakness in the GRA section.
2. The writer does not fully develop his personal opinion based on each public opinion. He must discuss his opinion of each public opinion to show that he understands the basis of each reason, but that he disagrees or that he agrees with it based on related reasons.

3. The writer's opinion is not properly presented in this essay given that it was presented as a part of the concluding paragraph. This will lead to an open ended essay, which always results in an automatic failing score since there is no proper summary conclusion presented.

@Holt
Thank you for your advices, Sir!!!
Sincerely,