This is my IELTS task writing regarding body examples. Your feed back really help me.
The spread of the internet is appositive development because everyone has easy access to an abundance of information. A good example of this is the great advantages of the internet provided in educational field. Students have a lot of paper assignment which must be finished. Students require any references to support paper's content. In past years ago, student had to go library and search one by one the book which is needed. Even, students often purchase an expensive book. Nevertheless, in recent decade students able to find references on the internet easily. Many journals and research data are saved on the internet. Moreover, a lot of electronic newspapers and books also can be podcast on internet. All in all, information can be obtained anywhere because internet is available virtually in every place.
However, there are also drawbacks because of the easy access to dangerous sites. For instance, more sites which contain unsure of pornography, gambling, fraud and any bad content others. These are very dangerous for the young especially children. Internet can't filter negative content of bad sites. Even tough, there is a warning on accessing to these sites, but it is still very easy for some users to overcome. The impact, a lot of cases of raping occurred among the teenagers who often access shameful sites.
... great advantages of the internet which is provided in educational field.
... assignment which must be finished . Studentsand they requires any references ...
... had to go library and search the book one by one the book which is needed.
Many journals and research data are savedavailable on the internet.
... and books also can be podcastdownloaded on internet.
... because internet is available virtually(virtual=near actual) in every place.
... gambling, fraud and any others bad content others .
... dangerous for the young(,) especially children. Internet can'tcannot filter negative content of bad sites.
... very easy for some users to overcomebrowse .
... great advantages of the internet which is provided in educational field.
Studentsand they(use the conjunction) requires any references to ...
... student had to go to the library and search the book one by one the book which is needed.
... research data are saved(maybe you can use = available) on the internet.
... newspapers and books also can be podcast(maybe you can use = downloded) on internet.
... because internet is available virtually in every place.
Hi Hary, let me you a hand, this is my correction
For instance, moremany sites which contain unsure of (...) any bad content others .
The impact (As a result) , a lot of are involvedcriminal cases of raping occurred among the teenagers who oftenafter accessing shameful sites.
I hope it is helpful.. Please recheck it again ...
Keep writing :)
