Some people think that only staff who have worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. What's your opinion?
People have different views about whether long-term employees should be given promotion as a reward for their loyalty.My view is that this kind of encouragement should also be considered in other perspectives.
First, it is obvious that a more experienced worker will be easier to adapt to the working environment.This is because the experienced staff can understand the system more thoroughly.For example, he can tackle any issue related to the scope of his work and can implement good solutions to such problems. Undoubtedly, such employee deserves the promotion due to his broad knowledge and experience. Another important issue is the employee loyalty towards the company and that should be rewarded. Otherwise, he maybe disastisfied with the company's maltreatment and leave for others.
That is not to say that the experienced employee is the only one who deserves the promotion.In some companies, for example, the managers based the staff's quality on annual performance and development's reviews done by their supervisors.If those targets are met, then the staff can be promoted, even if they are relatively junior. The benefit of this approach is that it encourages staff to work harder and rewards merit and not just slow service.
In conslusion, there is no denying that long-term employees should be given prority in higher position.However, I believe that it is also wise to take account of the performance of more junior members of staff.
Mai,
In para 1, you keep talking about how only experience can help you get promoted but the question asks whether experience in the same firm should get you promoted. Here you can talk about company culture and values that one gets, while working at the same company for a long duration.
In para 2
For example, in some companies the managers based assess the staff's quality on annual performance and development's reviews done by their supervisors.
ANNUAL TARGETS NEED TO BE SET FOR EMPLOYEES AND If those they are met, then the staff can be promoted, even if they are relatively junior
Mai, when you are asked to directly discuss your opinion on a given topic, always make sure to take possession of the discussion in order to strengthen your opinion as you present it. It is important that you use words such as "My opinion" and "I believe that" or "I consider" in order to constantly remind the examiner that this is your point of view and not some generalized statement that you are making.
With regards to your introduction. It is severely wanting in terms of quality of content. This should be at least a 3 sentence discussion / presentation of the prompt, facts within the prompt, and the opinions that you will be discussing in the essay. The same goes for your conclusion. It needs to properly restate the prompt, summarize the facts, and then deliver your opinion in conclusion. That is the best way to close the essay.
Your discussion of the topic is academically acceptable and does not require any major revision in terms of opinion. You have managed to present a pretty coherent discussion that has strength and merit due to the fact that it is based upon practical considerations and well known arguments in support of your opinion.
