Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The statistics regarding purchased tickets for cinema, concert and theatre



hathuynongtrang 1 / -  
Oct 25, 2021   #1

Charts analysis task



The charts below show how selected age groups purchased concert cinema and theatre tickets online over the first three months of 2006 in three countries and how the Internet was accessed.

The bar chart plots the purchase of concert cinema and theatre tickets of two age brackets (25-44, 65+) on the internet through desktop computer, laptop or mobile phone in January, February, March in 2006 in Australia, UK, Malaysia.

In general, the younger group obtained more tickets on the web than the older one, except for Malaysia. The highest total number of people was recorded in Australia while the reserve was true for Malaysia. All three countries were most likely to acquire the tickets from desktop computer, least likely from mobile phone, and among them, Malaysia had the most access to every means.

As regards to the 25-44 age group, Australia equaled UK in the percentage of purchasers, about 65%, moderately higher than Malaysian (nearly 40%). However, in the other category, there was a minor disparity as 40% people in UK bought tickets online, the same as Malaysia whereas Australia still remained the highest.

When it comes to the method to buy tickets, the most popular is by desktop computer, with a vast majority of roughly 60% or more users per nations. Laptop and mobile phone is less typical. There were not as much usage of laptop in the UK as in Australia and Malaysia, 30% and 40% respectively. The utilization of mobile phone, on the other hand, is quite even, with Malaysia slightly higher.





Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15238  
Oct 26, 2021   #2
and how the Internet was accessed.

This is a topic usrelated to the first image. It must be presented as a seperate sentence so as not to confuse the first image representation. This is a confusing sentence that will recieve grammar deductions due to a confusing statement presentation. This is a severe error that continues in the the trending statement / paragraph. I am afraid this will be a major concern during the actual test and lead to a failing final score.

The writer has made a clear effort to present a professional report. This will not be lost on the examiner. However, the lack of clear reporting style is what will weigh heavily on the final scoring considerations.
Charlie William 3 / 2  
Oct 26, 2021   #3
The charts below (nothing is below in the answer sheet) show how selected age groups in three countries purchased concert ... over the first ... in three countries through 3 means and how the Internet was accessed over the first three months of 2006.

... of two age brackets (25-44, 65+) (we are not encouraged to put information in brackets) ... through desktop computers,...

... the younger groups obtained more tickets on the web on websites than the older ones, except for Malaysia. Besides, The highest total number of people ticket-online-buyers ... All three countries ... phones (as we will mention the trend of means below so there is no need to put them here). Among three ... every means.

... higher than Malaysian one (nearly 40%). ... as 40% of the UK population people in UK bought ...

... the most popular is resorting to the help of by desktop ... per nation, unlike Laptop and mobile phone are less typical. The usage of There were not as much usage of laptops in ...

Here is my comment to your writing. I do think this is good writing, and you still need to extend their grammatic ranges and your sentence structures.

Great job


Home / Writing Feedback / The statistics regarding purchased tickets for cinema, concert and theatre
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳