I am struggling with this essay : Agree or disagree "Watching TV is a waste of time for children" ?

watching tv by children

Nowadays, with the development of technology, many modern electronic devices have been used by people of all ages, especially children. One of the most popular equipments that we can easily see in every house is the television. TV has some advantages, however, I think watching TV too often is a waste of time for kids, teenagers or adults.

As everyone knows, television helps us relax, entertain and sometimes learn new things, but it also has a number of drawbacks that we don't know. First, if children watch TV too much a day, their eyes will be exhausted and really dry. After a long time watching television, of course, children will be shortsighted. Second, when teenagers watch TV, they will sit a lot, so they become lazy, hate doing exercises and their bodies will easily get fat. Beside, spending much time watching cartoons, gameshows or films on television can make children addicted to these programs and study less. For example, when kids and children addicted to cartoons, they will think about them all the time and can not concentrate on their lessons at school, so they will get bad scores. Last but not least, teenagers who waste too much time on TV may have some mental problems. In fact, they may have sorrow feeling, violent thought or scared of people and society.

In conclusion, everybody must limit the time spending on watching television and using these time doing exercises, volunteer, join campaigns and more.

The paraphrase + opinion statement should only be 2 sentences that focus on the topic and response.There was no need for the sentence fillers , which still left the essay short of the 250 word requirement. The student also altered the response format from agree or disagree to advantage or disadvantage. This is automatically a failing paragraph. The writer should have used agree or disagree to respond and stay on track with the response format.

The writer continued to offer an A/D consideration in the succeeding paragraphs. The essay has delivered explanations totally unrelated to the task provided. The writer struggled to respond and write a proper answer because he did not understand the question and, was not familiar with the needed response format. He should review essay samples first to familiarize himself with writing expectations for these tasks before trying his hand at writing a response again. There are enough samples at this forum to help him do that. Read and learn from the mistakes of others.

drawbacks that we do not know.
After watching television for a long time , of course, children
so they can become lazy
Besides, spending too much time
when kids are addicted
violent thought or become scared

doing exercises, volunteering, joining campaigns