Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Students should choose fields based on their preferences or just focus on job related subjects?



sillyman2000 19 / 42  
Jul 28, 2018   #1
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

individual passion or market demands?

Some people maintain that students in university should choose their fields based on their preferences, whereas others think that students should prioritize the future job demands, and only focus on subjects related about them. This essay will discuss both these views and from my perspective, students should select what they want to.

Preference plays an important role in choosing career for college students. First and foremost, it helps students acknowledge what they are truly talented about, so that he or she can have motivation to get to work every day, despite its adversity. For instance, if a teacher loves their job, he or she will be cheerful to go to school everyday and dedicated to make an intriguing syllabus for students. Although the income is modest compared to other occupations and it requires high responsibility, but with sense of honor and pride to their carrer, it is their pleasure to guide the youngsters to the brigher future. Secondly, students who take courses due to passion will be more likely to obtain a successful career after graduate than those who do not, as they have a specific goal on what are they pursing and the mindset of venturing the risks.

On the other hand, future potential fields are also an indispensible part to be considered. As the development of society nowadays, there are several fields that need a plethora number of workers in the near future, such as laws, Information and Technology and medical. Those potential jobs offer the graduate many benefits with high salary, good reputation in society and stability, thus it can be a personal sake for students to choose these fields.

In conclusion, whether it is for interest or future request purposes, individual passion is over marketing demands.

AnnLee 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2018   #2
Hello, I think you did a good job. Since I'm neither a skilled writer nor an examiner, I can't cite out any wrong choices of words or expression, but there are some mistakes you made with the preposition after some words:

related about : related to
talented about : I think it should be talented in
You misspelled the word 'brighter' in 'brigher future.' but I think it's a typo.
Additionally, I think you should restate your opinion in the conclusion and there should be more verbs that express possibilities instead of writing everything in present simple, which implicates that you are sure of everything in your essay.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15469  
Jul 30, 2018   #3
Hoang, your essay is not responding to the task at all. You are being asked to discuss whether or not students should be allowed to study subjects in college that are of interest to them or, if they should only study subjects related to their future work. You are responding to the essay from the point of view of someone who has already graduated from college and is already working. That is the wrong discussion approach. You need to approach this essay from the POV of the student, not the professional. You clearly misunderstood the prompt, which led to a prompt deviation in the discussion, which means you did not accomplish the task requirements in terms of discussion points and responses.

In addition to that, your prompt paraphrase is includes some reasoning at the end of the instruction presentation. Since this is not a direct question essay, no reasoning should be provided after you indicate the discussion instructions. There was no need to immediately mention your perspective as you are not able to fully explain your reasons for having such an opinion in the opening statement due to the sentence limitations. Your personal opinion could have instead, been placed as a completely developed paragraph anywhere within the 3 body paragraphs allotment.

Overall, your essay shows that you have the potential to create good discussions, provided you really understood what the prompt was about first. You need to develop your English comprehension skills. Make sure you understand the question first, then worry about your sentence presentation, vocabulary, and clarity of the paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / Students should choose fields based on their preferences or just focus on job related subjects?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳