【TOEFL】Do students learn more effectively in team work?

I' m going to take toefl test next week>< Hope that someone can help me correct my writing. I'd really appreciate you if you can help me. Thank you in advance!!!

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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When speaking of team work, some people raise their hands with delight, but others might consider it a nasty work. However, In my opinion, I think that working in a team group is more beneficial to students. I will be giving three reasons in the following paragraph.

First, working with other people may improve the students' communication skills. They have to discuss with each other and convey their ideas. Although they may have arguments among the topic or the work load, they can reach a consensus through discussing with each other. For example, I have a lot of group papers in college, and we have to discuss the topic and the presentation. When we disagree with each other's opinion, we have to explain the reason for our suggestion. Through this discussion process , we all find out that our communication skills become better than before. Therefore, I think working on a team may be beneficial to the students' communication skills.

Second, the student can learn something from other people. Since we all have our advantages and disadvantages, we can always learn something from others. For example, when I was in elementary school, we had an art project to present. I discovered that one of my friends is very good at drawing, and she was willing to teach me. On the other hand, I was good at writing words, so we can exchange our skills and learn from each other. So I think that it was a good idea to put the students together since they can learn something new from their team members.

Third, the students can learn to be more responsible when working in a group. Because when you fail to finish your part of the work, you may influence other team members and get a lower grade. Thus, in order to avoid this situation happening, the students may be more responsible for themselves. For example, I had a bad experience of team work in high school. That's because one of our team members failed to finish her part on time, we got a low grade for the project. After that experience, I realized the importance to be responsible when working on a team.

In conclusion, the students can learn much more effectively when working in a team for improvement of communication, learning from other people, and the sense of responsibility.

It is always good to mention what the outlines are. This helps readers follow the logical order from the intro to the body paragraphs. Let me give a try for your intro;

Working in a team broadly educates people. As such, some people argue that students are better to work together so as that they could lean with peers. While some say that this tends to lead drawbacks to students, it is argued that team work helps students gain more valuable insights, such as communication skill improvement, sharing information and work responsibility.

- The body paragraph 2 is too weak. I did not see any overall progression, since you use too many "somethings" which are a vague phrase. Try to define clearly what you want to argue there. by doing so, your paragraph looks more appealing :D

Good luck for the exam

Hi Eddy :)
Thank you for correcting my writing!
This is a rewrite of the second paragraph of my article.
Thanks again!!!
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Second, working in a team the students can learn deeper and have a profounder understanding of the subject. Since some students are too shy to ask questions during the class, they can discuss with their team members of what they are confused, and through the discussion, they can have a deeper understanding of the topic. According to a psychology research, the scientists discovered that the students who worked in a group had better learning effect due to the collaboration and the discussion between team members. On the other hand, those who learn by themselves had a lower learning performance. As a result, group learning is better for students.

This paragraph is good. You need a slight improvement on the way you arrange the sentence. Here is my try;
When it comes to working in a team, students are more likely to have more opportunities to learn a school subject in details. This chance leads them to have better understanding of the subject. According to psychology research, the scientists discovered that the students who worked in a group had better learning effect due to the collaboration and the discussion between team members. If a student is too shy to ask questions during the class, then she can discuss the subject with their team members of what she is confused, and this has meant that she with her peers has conducted effective learning. As a result, the opportunities to gain comprehension of the size of the subject are fully open rather than those who study alone.

Hi Eddy
I'm very grateful for what you've helped:)
Thanks a lot !!!!:DD