General Writing Task 2:
Many scientists believe that now we can study the behaviour of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals.
To what extent do you think the human nature produces crimes?
How can we prevent children from growing up to be criminals?
Future Criminals Can Be Identified Very Early
With the ever-increasing experiments about nature versus nurture, whether or not human is born to be a criminal has become a wildly debated topic. While many people believe that nurturing take a vital role in developing the personality and mindset of children, others maintain that the nature of human being is evil. This essay will discuss about the significance of nurturing which shapes human behaviours and the recommended measures to avoid young children becoming criminals when they are grown up.
There is no denying that our living circumstances and schooling are critical in establishing our future. Many studies and researches show that the higher the person is educated, the higher the mobility ones received. In other words, people who receive higher education, there will be more ideal opportunities as well as better improved living condition. Additionally, sociologists also note that it is more likely for those with lower social status and class engaged in crimes such as robbery and shop lifting so as to survive and improve their living environments. Therefore, the standard of living and education are definitely considered as the key factors in altering the behaviours of people.
In order to prevent the unfortunate situations happening among young children, imposing free education policy and parenting should be taken into thorough consideration. Firstly, in majority of the developed and civilized countries such as the United States and Britain, they offer free and mandatory public education to children in which the crime rate in these countries are significantly lower than other developing countries, for example, India and Indonesia. Furthermore, parents should provide guidance their children because parents are the one who spend majority of the time with them. Hence, teaching children about the detrimental impacts of crimes and watching out for their off-springs are undoubtedly their responsibilities.
In conclusion, this essay has evaluated why nurturing is responsible of creating criminals instead of human nature and suggested the possible solutions in preventing such devastating consequences. From my own perspective, I totally agree that nurture takes a more important role in shaping human personality and behaviours because human being thrives to be an achiever instead of a loser. Although it may seem to be challenging for some underdeveloped countries to make changes, it is the whole world's mission to improve the quality of living as we are all global citizens. If the situation is being recognized globally, I am confident that the everyone on earth will enjoy such loving place.
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What will be the estimated score for this essay and any suggestions?Hello
I think it's a fairly well-organised essay. Your statement is quite clear and easy to drag out with good use of conjunctions. Also, you are able to utilize a wide range of difficult vocabulary, as well as a variety of sentences. I only have a few suggestions for you.
Firstly, it is apparent that the question asks about the influence of nature on crimes, but you did not say anything relevant to it. Instead of straightforwardly explaining the impact from the environment, maybe it is better to describe a little about the extent that children commit a crime decided by genes or at least say that you do not agree with this statement at the beginning of the second paragraph.
Secondly, in the last paragraph, from Although it may seem to be challenging for some underdeveloped countries... to such a loving place. seems a little out of topic for me in this essay. I think this information is not necessary to be provided, concluding directly about the solution of preventing children from being criminals after growing up is better.
Hope my suggestions are helpful for you.
