Hello, :-) could you give the feedback on my essay especially in terms of the content?-if my rationales, justifications make sense and are reasonable enough. It will be appreciated very much if you also point out any serious grammatical/lexical errors in my writing. Thank you so so so much in adavnce.
topic: In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which one do you think is more effective for students?
Cutting-edge technology has made it possible for students to take more options on the types of education. Some people argue that the new types of education-studying with using technology like TV or computer brings so many good benefits to students. However, I firmly believe that traditional schools are still the most effective form of education for the following reasons.
First students studying at traditional schools get immediate feedback from the teacher. During the lesson, some parts of teacher's explanations can be somewhat ambiguous or sometimes obscure to students. In this case, students taking the lesson via Internet or television can not receive satisfactory further explanations immediately. On the contrary, those who study at traditional schools freely ask teachers to clarify or repeat what they said until students reach a full understanding. In addition, students can ask whenever the questions pop up, and get a prompt answer provided from teachers.
Students also get ample chances of meeting new people-not only their classmates but also other people in another class. Since human beings are known to be as "social animal", it is of significance to get along with others. Traditional schools seem to be the only place for students where they meet new people and are given an opportunity to make friends. By socializing with others, students can build up network, which will be the valuable asset in their future.
It is obvious that traditional schools provide many advantages to students. Among those benefits, immediate feedback from teachers and a chance to meet new people are the strongest. Therefore, we should not overlook the value of studying at traditional schools.
I think your response is a very thorough response to the prompt. It is organized, well structured, and explains the points you present in your opening. The conclusion is tidy, wrapping up the whole piece. A very thorough job. With a little polishing, this will be a very competent submission. Nice work.