Studying at university or get a job straight after school? Discuss both views

starting work right after school or to continue higher level studies

These days, after gradutating from high school, a lot of students often wonder whether they ought to keep on studying at university or not. Many people believe that it will be the best way to a sucessful career if the young go to university, whereas others think that working right after high school is a better option.

There are a variety of benefits to going to university. First, a degree can open the door to better employment prospects. The labour market is becoming more and more competitive than ever before, as hundreds of applicants often chase well remunerated works, and university gradutes usually get a much higher salary than those without a degree. Furthermore, most jobs require specific knowledge and skills. For instance, skilled workers are needed for sectors such as information technology and engineering.

On the other hand, having a job straight after high school is advantageous in some ways. Firstly, by working, young people will be able to earn money as soon as possible, and since they will likely to be mature enough, they will be to live independently on their own income. Secondly, a person who chooses to get a job instead of pursuing higher education is likely to make a rapid progress in their career. This may help them to obtain a lot of real experience and skills in their chosen profession.

According to the above analysis, it is evident that both starting work right after finishing school and choosing to continue higher level studies each have their own unique good aspects, which also leads to a sucessful career in the future

With 266 words written, one would say that you should have written a pretty good essay. The problem, is that you discussed both points of view from a personal standpoint, totally neglecting the keywords in the original prompt that referred to the method of discussion / format for the presentation. The prompt said :Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Now, the discuss both points of view part should have been based on the use of third person pronouns. How should you have known that you needed to discuss the public point of view first? Read the original presentation. Look at the pronoun keywords: Some people, others. Both refer to the point of view of the general public / audience. Then, the personal opinion reference: your opinion. Count the discussion paragraphs, 2 public, 1 personal. 3 paragraphs. One for each discussion presentation.

Review your presentation. You never use a pronoun in the paragraphs that would identify the source of the opinion. The pronoun usage is a major part of the scoring in this presentation as it relates directly to your GRA score. The pronouns used helps the examiner figure out how well you can structure or form your English sentences. Without it, the general discussion you present would appear to be only personal in nature.

So, while your discussion may have good reference points, the lack of proper reasoning formation in the middle of the essay are what weakened the presentation.