TOEFL essay : The subject that you want to learn more about (economics)

Hi this is my first post. I am glad to hear all feedback from you and thank you for spending time to read my essay.

my topic is what is the subject that you want to learn more about ? why? give details and explanation.

Subject that i want to learn more about

It would be hard to deny that the economy plays crucial role In our ever change world .It affects people from all walks of life, from a normal civilian to world leaders. So economics is always the subject that i want to learn more about. Macro economics helps me to keep up with daily news, Microeconomics teach me how to do business well.

To begin with, macroeconomics help me to understand the instant stream of news from mass media such as TV, the internet, cable networks and so on...What's going on with the world economy, what is financial crisis, what is inflation,? And many economic terms that we have met in our life. In addition, it is critical to learn how the government control the economy as the whole and how it can affect us.

Second, Microeconomics gives me knowledge about demand and supply , how to start a business , which skills will i need to manage it well and make profit.Though , i am a medical student now and it seems that my job will not have nothing to do with business , but i want to open my own hospital one day Where i could make my dream come true : giving the best treatments for my patient with cheapest prices. I acknowledge that will not be easy because it will requires good knowledge in management and a strong leadership and microeconomics will be really useful.

To summarize, economics is worth of studying more. Learning about economics Help me to understand daily news in the media, be familiar with some basic economic terms, do business well when i run my own business.

I like how you explain both topics of macro- and microeconomics.
It is also good that you explained what your wishes were in saying that you wanted a hospital one day.

try "and describes all the common-usage economics terms, such as inflation and etc..."
"These are skills that I will need to manage it well, and to make a profit."

you ' re so helpful . i 'm learning so much from you. Thank you.

Second, Microeconomics gives me knowledge about demand and supply , how to start a business , which skills will i need to manage it well and make profit

you can rewrite above statement in this way : secondly, the knowledge that i gained from studying microeconomics help me to understand demand and supply concept, how to start and run a business and what kind of skills do i need to develop

I acknowledge that will not be easy because it will requires good knowledge in management and a strong leadership and microeconomics will be really useful.

admittedly, it will not be easy as i it required deep knowledge of management and strong leadership

i hope my comment be helpful
:D

Hi,

I totally agree with all above comments. In addition, I think, you should explain more about economic in detail, and how this subject will help you in your future life. As, this is TOEFL essay and it should be in 300-350 words, so you can extend it by explaining more details. (just a suggestion..)

Also, I would like to thank you for sharing this essay, I like this subject, your ideas, and the way you arranged your essay. I will also write essay on this subject..:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.

I feel like the others have helped you tremendously. In addition to what they have, ever- changing should be hyphenated.
I think you will have very clear writing when you make the changes that have been suggested to you. It could stand to be a little bit longer, but I think your explanations are significant enough to get your point across.

thank you guys for all nice comments.i am trying to make progress.