IELTS Task 1: Summarising two charts (Demand and electricity usage during typical day)

I am open for the grammatical correction

answer :
These two figures show regarding demand for electricity in UK during typical day. The depictory of line chart reported unit of electricity using during winter and summer, while the pie chart shows percentage of purposing using in electricity.

According to the line charts, Britons desire to use electricity in winter rather than summer. The electricity consumption fluctuated among 30-40 thousand units in first half of the winter, then reach a peak nearly 50 thousand units before felt dramatically onward. Nevertheless, electricity using in summer remained stable among 10-20 thousand. Both in the winter and summer, the low of trough of electricity usage occur before noon, but the peak routine come about evening.

The second chart represented what the electricity is used for. Around 15 per cent Britons use electricity for two groups; kitchen or entertainment, such as vacuum cleaner, food mixer, electronic tools, lighting, TV, and Radio. However, the more tripled per cent electricity using was for heating, either room or water, it was around 52,5 percent. The other residual percentage was used for oven, kettles, and washing machine.

In conclusion, both of data are coherence. The most favor electricity using is for equipments which function to make warm..

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The line chart compares electricity demand in typical days in summer and winter, while the pie graph illustrates the proportion of four main purposes of electricity in an average English household.


electricity demand in winter is much higher than that in summer.


,


You should pay attention to the tense used in your essay.


before falling


electricity is mainly used for heating, accounting for over 50 percent.


You should mention the most significant features or main trends of the charts in this overview paragraph.

This task aims at assessing your report writing skills. So, your writing should be aligned with a more reporting tone.
The two figures illustrate the demand for electricity in UK during a typical day and the purpose of electricity being used.


The line graph presents the number of units of electricity demanded during winter and summer while the pie chart presents the percentage of each purpose that electricity being used.

i should be learn more about report tone, I am appreciate it

Write things in a style of reporting having least personal touch. Your sentences need to be clear and concise.
I don't know whether I suggested you this structure for this task

Hi Hanafi

The most important point in IELTS writing task 1 is structure.
As "dumi" explained you need introduction which in best way is paraphrasing of the title with a short overview of the main points. ( in here you can say: demand on electricity in winter is far beyond of that in summer, and most of this electricity is used for heating home and water) with no number or trend.

in 1-2 next paragraphs, depends of how many words you have written in your introduction, you should compare data in figures (here you can compare exact number of consumption in winter with summer or compare the winter and summer peak of demand, or the exact proportion of electricity which was used in different sectors).

As you can see in your question sheet in IELTS they prompt you : "Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in this chart or diagram" then you need no personal feeling or any other informal writing.

good luck