Nowadays, most of people particularly who have much money can get good education in school, registered to excelent school with exclusive facility. On other hand, the poverty people decided to drop out from school, and more choose for work because they realized their family need help and they must work. In fact, most of school which have good facilty is not free, the student who want to study at school must pay enough expensive and its not reasonable for poor family.
Hello, Alfin.
In my opinion, you should put more detailed information related to "How America public schools keep kids in poverty" in order to provide sufficient understanding for readers. I do not get favorable comparison between education for the rich and the poor.
Here are some additional suggestions for you.
Nowadays, most of people (...) can get good education in school.
They register to excellentschoolinstitutions with exclusive facilityfacilities .
[It is essential to ensure that each sentence has a complete structure. That's way, I suggest you to split your sentence since the word "registered" does not its own subject.]
On other hand, the povertypoor people (...), and moremost choose forto work.
[It does not make a sense to put two noun respectively, in exception with certain words.]
This is because they (...) need help and they must work .
[Repetition]
... have good facilty isfacilities are not free,.
Thus,thestudents who want to study at school must pay enough expensivehigh tuition fee and itsit is certainly not reasonable for poor family.
Hi, Iet me give comments
1. ... can get good education in school,andregisteredregister to excelent school ...
Seeing that there are only 2 instances, you should use 'and' between those ideas.
2. the poverty people decided to drop out from school, and more choose forto work because ...
3. Some spelling errors
excelent ----> excellent
facilty ----> facility
Good luck,
Keep writing
