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Summary TED: Let's design social media that drives real change



MFES2016 5 / 5  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
Wael Ghonim was an anonym who created helped spark the Egyptian revolution in social media. In June 2010, the internet changed his life forever. While browsing facebook, he saw a terrifying photo that it dead body of a young Egyptian guy. He shared in facebook page and called it "We are all Khaled Said". In just three days, the page had over 100,000 people, fellow Egyptians who shared the same concern.

Social media was crucial for this campaign which helped decentralized movement and made people realize that they were not alone for revolution. In Wael Ghonim view, there are five critical challenges facing today's social media. First, we don't know how to deal with rumors. Second, we create our own echo chambers. Third, online discussions quickly descend into mobs. fourth, it is hard to change our opinions, because of the speed and brevity of social media, we are just forced few characters, and the last, our social media experiences are designed in a way that favors broadcasting and posts over discussions. Wael Ghonim said, "If you want to liberate the society, all you need is the Internet."

Fitri12 28 / 50  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
Hi MF! It's my pleasure to share regarding your writing.

... he saw a terrifying photo that itof dead body of a ...

Social media was crucial for this campaign which helped decentralized ...
(you also may write :Social media is (fact) crucial for campaigning such issues in order to attract people's movement)

Thank you.
wew018 - / 20  
Sep 27, 2016   #3
Hi @ MFES2016

Your essay is good. I can see the idea immediately. The information is well presented and I commend you on that. However, there are some issues that I have noticed.

he saw a terrifying photothat itof a young Egyptian guy'sdead bodyof a young Egyptian guy > This is just a matter of word ordering. Once you familiarize yourself in proper word ordering, making long sentences will be easy for you.

He shareditin facebook

Also, I noticed that there are some word contractions you did like "don't". In formal English writing, it is prohibited to contract words as it makes the composition less formal. So, you have to express it word by word like instead of "don't", make it "do not". Lastly, you should capitalize "Facebook" since it is also a proper noun.

Other than that, your essay is good. I highly appreciate your composition and I hope I can read more of your works. Good luck and keep writing.


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