Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

Summary, National Geographic This Chart Shows How U.S. Carbon Emissions Are Rising-Again


Halim15 7 / 11  
Aug 12, 2016   #1
The United State is the big industrial state in the world. This made U.S as contributor of carbon emission on earth. This is part of big challenge problem for all human life.

There are two reasons of it, because of energy consume and economic growth. Firstly, the United State needs much energy to their companies. The companies could produce of many kind of production. That is good for its state and other state. But unfortunately, that is bad for environment because of air pollutant, both of people or animal in the world. Secondly, U.S has been growing for its future economic. So that, U.S always needs consumption of energy without stop. We can see if the United State still for surviving with its production to help its development economic.

In conclusion, this is big problem that has not been conclusion until now. Because that is very close about Emissions are rising largely because of recent economic growth

Riandi31 2 / 9  
Aug 12, 2016   #2
Hallo Halim, after reading your paragraph, i have some suggestions:

The United State is the bigenermous industrial state in the world.
There are two reasons of it , because of energy consume and economic growth.
The companies could produce of many kind of production. That is good for its stateauthority and the others state . But unfortunately, that is bad for environmentcircumstance because of air pollutant, both of people orand animal in the world.

... consumption of energy without stoprecentless .

In conclusion, this is a big problem that has ...
Samsul - / 1  
Aug 12, 2016   #3
The companies could produce of many kind of production. That is good for its state and other state (others ).
... because of air pollutant, both ofeither people or animal in the world.

In conclusion, this is a big problem that has not been conclusionconcluded until now. Because thatit is very close about Emissions ...
bornStunna15 1 / 3  
Aug 12, 2016   #4
Hello Halim 15,
I would like to give you some inputs regarding your writing.
overall your writing is already dope.

The companies could produce of many kind of production.
... that is bad for environment because of air pollutant(pollution) , both (of people or animal in the world. Secondly, U.S has been growing for its future economic.

We can see if the United State (Is) still for surviving with its production ...

... that has not been conclusion (concluded) until (up) now.

Additional info: ()= additional word and strikethrough= removed

Thank you.-
(I'am a student of English course, so if my inputs are wrong just let me know, it will help me enormously.)
Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
Aug 12, 2016   #5
Hi, Halim.
I found that coherence is the most problem in your essay. Thus, sometimes it is hard to follow.
Here is my suggestion :)

Since the United State is the biggest industrial state in the world, it becomes the main contributor of carbon emission on the earth. As the result, this phenomenon not only damaged American people, but also jeopardized all human life.

There are two possible reasons for it. Firstly, the United State requires vast amount of energy to run their companies. While this is important to supply human necessities around the globe, the environment is deteriorated through air pollution. In addition, U.S has been struggling for its financial matters. Thus, it needs much more energy consumption to ensure that the manufacture operates well.

In conclusion, this is a big problem that has not been addressed until now. It is very closed to emissions which are rising significantly due to economic growth recently.


Home / Writing Feedback / Summary, National Geographic This Chart Shows How U.S. Carbon Emissions Are Rising-Again