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IELTS Writing Task 1 Summary TED: A project of peace painted across 50 buildings


Alamsyah Ismail 24 / 43  
Sep 27, 2016   #1
How to construct a city where had been collapsed? It is a difficult question to answer, espesially in city which is fall apart of a devastating tragedy like coup d'etat in Egyptian. The accident was destroyed and relieved the spirit of civilization in there. But, there was a native man who had a new conception to develop humanist intention again. Him talk and make a discussion with several people in there. His idea to paint the wall of ruins with full by great number of colors accepted by personage in his city. The surprisingly result, the building covered by Arabic calligraphy that can answer the question. And proved that collaboration between a new idea and effort of local communities can attact the misconception and judgment.

zul2805_es 7 / 18  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
Let me give you some suggestions:

1. ... espesially in city which is fall (there are 2 verb. You need to eliminate "is or fall" or you can make it into past perfect "had fallen" ) apart of a devastating ...

The accident washad destroyed and ...

2. Himhetalk and makethe event has passed so it has to be Verb 2 "talked and made" a discussion with several ...
His idea to fully paint the wall of ruins with full bywith great number of colors were accepted by personage in his city.
Fitri12 28 / 53 6  
Sep 27, 2016   #3
Hi Alamsyah, it's my pleasure to share. Here is my feedback.

How to construct a city where had been collapsed? (maybe you want to say: How to rebuild/reconstruct /reestablish a collapsed city?)

It is a difficult question to answer, espesially in city which is fall apart of a devastating... (what do you mean?)

Please pay attention to the flow of your writing as well as its meaning.

Thank you.


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