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Summary of TEDx How women wage conflict without violence



alfa7 19 / 22  
Sep 29, 2016   #1
Conflict and inequality gender are all ears is like some long-life ballads, never have an ending. On the way reducing of conflict without violent, a woman who a filmmaker named Julia Bacha told about how women can wage conflict without violence. Bacha was start filming daily life of Palestine women in Budurs without thought her can campaign non-violence movement. Research by Erica Chenoweth and Maria J. Stephan told non-violence campaign 100 per cent more effective than violence campaign in 323 major political conflict slated from to 1900 to 2006. A concreate of that data was happening in Budrus, a small area in Palestine, in there a great deal of women went to front line of conflict every day and counter back the military invention without violence with their creativity. These women did 10-month unarmed struggle for hold back violence act from Israel. Bacha does not believe women are more peaceful than men yet her believe women have different power to against conflict. That's the reason why Bacha spend array of years to filming this campaign and shared into the today's world eyes.

andika08 81 / 73  
Sep 29, 2016   #2
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... gender are all ears is like some long-life ballads, itnever have an ending. On the way reducing of conflict withoutviolent, a woman who a (...) women can wage conflict without violence. Bacha was start tomake filmingindaily life of Palestine women in Budurs that her can campaign non-violence movement without thought.

A concreate of that the data was (...) in Palestine, in there there is a great deal ...
These women did 10-month unarmednot holding a weapon andstruggle for hold back ...
Bacha does not believe with women are that more peaceful than ...
Finally,that's the reason why Bacha (...) shared into the today's wWorld eyes.

You can added introduction in first sentence.
There are repeated words, you can change with similar words.
Alamsyah Ismail 24 / 38  
Oct 2, 2016   #3
Hello Alfa7
I have a twice advice for you

Conflict and inequality gender are all ears is like some long-life ballads, (conj) never have an ending.
....you do not need is (verb) into your sentence.
.... you should write conjuction to combine two sentences


than violence campaign in 323 major political conflict(s)
.... you should write conflicts
debby17 8 / 19  
Oct 2, 2016   #4
Hi there..
This is a great summary but you can make it much better with below suggestion :

Conflict and inequality gender are all ears is like some..
there should be just one verb (is, are) in a sentence

Bacha was start filming
this is the same problem with previous one, choose one of those two verb.

a woman who a filmmaker named Julia Bacha
You can write " a woman filmmaker" instead

Thanks


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