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Summary From TED "Tiny Satellites Show Us The Earth as It Changes in near-real-time " (W.Marsal)


Ifan21 22 / 24 2  
Sep 19, 2016   #1
In this Cutting-edge, There are great number of capricious advance inventions will be immediately launched particularly for Astronomical approaching. Base on the report from Will Marsal, a Space scientist and inventor of earth-observing satellites, he and his team who from the Space company had designed magnificent small satellite called "Dove", which is 4 kg and 40 cm in length. It appropriately enriched by electronic sensitive system which can improve the resolution 10 times better than usual satellite.There were two fundamental reason why they reduce the scale of it namely; the first, the leading-edge satellite is big, expensive and slow; the second due to the earth constantly changing. It is considerably become a great satellite ever. Even, It will not be launched in massively only, but also will inform many information regarding on everyday Earth condition. because of bulky number of it, as an expectation it will back up every particular detail of place on Earth and also it will help developing country and humanity with easy-access information given by this sophisticated space technology.

zul2805_es 7 / 18  
Sep 20, 2016   #2
Hi @Ifan21 allow me to give you some suggestions:

In this Cutting-edge you need to add a noun, for example "era" so the cutting-edge could be interpreted the noun

There are great number of capricious advance inventions thatwill be immediately launched ... There are 2 verb without any connective words. So I suggest you to add "that" in the middle of your sentence.

BaseBased on the report from Will (...), he and his team who were from the Space company ... Based on this paragraph, I found you still have to work with grammar.

1. Base, you need to change it to based since you're cite it, so it is pass tense.
2. After "who" you need to add verb/to be.

CMIIW, keep writing
Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 20, 2016   #3
Hi Ifan21
I think your essay us good but there are some mistakes you have done in your writing, I want to share it with you
-Based on the report (...) he and his team whoare from the Space company who had designed magnificent small satellite designed which is called "Dove" which ...

You should concern more about grammar in composing your sentence as you missed a verb in your sentence.
Thanks, I wish it helps
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 20, 2016   #4
In this Cutting-edge [adjective, need noun ], There [capitalization issue ] are great number of capricious advanceD inventions that will be immediately launched particularly for Astronomical approaching /purpose .

again, pay attention in your sentence structure. please consider how to appropriately compose sentences in term of fundamental grammatical rules.

BaseD on the report fromof Will Marsal, a Space [capitalization issue ] scientist and inventor (...), he and his team who from the Space (...), which is 4 kg in weight and 40 cm in length.

learn and practice more in how to adequately write complex structures, particularly the using of conjunction and punctuation on those.

It IS appropriately enriched by electronic sensitivesensitive electronic system which can ...

There were two fundamental reasonS [singular/plural issue ] why they reduce the scale of it namely;

there are many spaces for revision and improvement on your writing.

even though there are less severe problems that possibly being an obstacle for reader to understand this summary, many minor errors are not a good thing.


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