SUMMARY TASK 8
WHY ARE WOMEN LEAVING SCIENCE CAREERS?
There are more women than men who have registered to the college of science and technology since 1990s. But most of them chose to leave their careers by their mid-forties. The result of academic research declared that time, family, responsibilities and lack of role models are the reasons why women giving up on their careers behind, after struggling to achieve. As scientists, time is one of some important matter that required by company. They will be expected to be available whenever they are needed. On the other hand as women, taking care to the family, growing the children and educate them is also the most important part and frustrated responsibilities of a mother's job. Furthermore, after the age of late thirties, women are not suggested to having babies anymore. That is one of some reasons why women should leave their careers even if actually they do not wish. Besides, limited role models and invaluable supports reinforce the women to not to go further the research.
Please, you review my corrections below.
GOOD LUCK :D
... men who have registered to the A college of science and technology since THE 1990s. But HOWEVER (But is not a linker, here is it to make you smoother when move from a topic to another topic) , most of them chose ...
... models are the reasons why women giving GIVE up on their careers behind...
As scientists, THE time is one of some important matterS that required by A company.
... as women, taking care to OF the family, growing the children and educate EDUCATING them is also the ...
... women are not suggested to having HAVE (to + infinitive) babies anymore. That is one of some reasons (You should avoid repetition. It will seem that you lack of vocabularies) THERE IS THE STRONG REASON why women should leave ...
Besides APART FROM THAT, limited role models and ...
But[you need to avoid starting paragraph by using for, and, but, yet, so. etc] most of them havechosechosen to leave their careers byon their mid-forties. The result ofAN academic research declared (...) giving up on their careers behind , after struggling to achieve. As scientists, time is one of some important matterS that ...
On the other hand [need comma ] as women, taking care to theof family, growing the children and educateing them is also (...) responsibilities of a mother's job[redundancy= responsibilities and job].
... even if actually they do not wishwant it.
... reinforce the women to not to go further the research.
Hi miss oca. this is my feedback.
The result of an academic research declared
why women givinggive up on their careers behind...
one of some important mattersthat required by company
1. matter that are required by company.
2. matter required by company.
growing the children and educateeducating them
women are not suggested to having have babies anymore
I hope it usefull
ButHowever , most of them chose to ...
we use but to join sentences when information or opinion in the second sentence is different from the first sentence. meanwhile, however is used at the beginning of a sentence to say something different from the sentence before. however means "but', but we can't use however to join sentences.
But most of them chose have chosen to leave their ...you mention year before, and i think this sentence is still relating to 1990s, so you can't use present tense.
On the other hand (need comma) as women, taking care ...
Hi rosa,
... who have registered to thea college of science ...
... to leave their careers byin their mid-forties. The result of an academic research (...) giving up on their careers behind , after struggling to achieve. As scientists, time is one of somethe important matter thatwhich is required by company.
... as women, taking care to the family, growing the children ...
... women are not suggested to havinghave babies anymore. That is one of somethe reasons why women (...) even if actually they do not wishwanted it .
... reinforce the women to not to go further in the research.
Hopefully it helps.
