Task 1: Table about the annual expenditure of college students

Topic:

The average annual expenditure of college students from three countries

The table illustrates the average annual spending of college students from three different countries in terms of total costs and different living expenses. Overall, the total expenditure of students from country A was higher than the spending of those from countries B and C. In addition, in all these three countries, students spent the highest proportion of their budget on accommodation and food.

As can be seen from the table, students from country A totally spent $5000 per year, compared with $4500 and $1500 for students in countries B and C, respectively.

Looking at the table in more detail, students from country A spending on accommodation constituted 45%, which was the highest figure compared to the proportion of 35% from country B's students and 30% of others from country C. While students from country C spent the lowest percentage of their expenditure on accommodation in comparison with other countries, they spent significantly more on food category, with 36% compared to 22% and 28% of college students from countries A and B, respectively. Furthermore, about 21% of total expenditure of learners from country C went on books, which was much higher than that of students from countries A and B, with the figure of 3% and 9%. In terms of leisure purpose, students from country B spending on this category accounted for 23%, which nearly doubled the figure for those from country C, at 12%; this was also slightly higher than the ones from country A with the figure of 22%.

Hope to see your feedbacks !
Thank you very much !

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I think that your writing is quite good. However, i suggest you should replace words such as " spent" by other words or phrase

@Thangnguyen315
Hi there!

Firstly, I find that the majority of your writing is well-composed. Despite this, I suggest that you can benefit immensely from attempting to diversify your writing techniques. Optimizing your essay will always help you have more space for substantive writing. If you can trim down the unnecessary portions of your text, you'll be able to focus more on the overall depth that you have.

Aside from that, your observations are quite on-point. The analytical perspective of your writing is well-established, making your essay critical at best when it comes to interpretation of the graph.

Observe this proposed revision:

... countries in terms of total costs ... Overall, t The total expenditure ... In addition, in all ... countries, students spent ...

It can be beneficial if you can omit portions that are already quite well-known or established even without dwelling into the specifics. Say, for instance, there's no need for you to constantly mention repetitions, especially if you were already quite explicit in the beginning portions of your essay. Learning to distinguish would definitively help you.

Having a structure that's more dynamic also would help you. Look at this portion for example:

... C went on to books , ... higher than that of students ... and B, with the figure of with 3% and 9% respectively. In terms of leisure purpose, spending of students from country B spending on this category accounted for 23%, which nearly ..., at 12% doubling the figure from country C at 12%; this was ... than the ones from country A with ...

Best of luck as always in your writing.

@Maria
@mynhung
Thank you very much for giving precious feedbacks!
I will do my best to improve my writing task 1 in terms of table type following your instructions !

@Thangnguyen315
Hi . Could you show me how I can put the image under the essay like you do?