Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

 Home / Writing Feedback   ✓ % width Posts: 2

# The table describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901

akbotanuedu 1 / -
Apr 29, 2023   #1
The presented table provides information on a multitude of factories and employees between 1851 and 1901 in countries such as England and Wales.

Overall, it is clear that, the majority of employees were males rather than females. Also, it is shown that the number of male and female employees decreased every decade, meanwhile, factories fluctuated on its number.

In 1851, the number of man employees were more than woman employees which was 287,100. However, a decade later, a multitude of male employees declined sharply to 131,780. In 1901, they went down significantly to 31000, but still more than female employees.

Female employees, constituted 190,000 of the total employees in a year of 1851. In 1871, two decades later, the number of female employees dropped for 130,000 which was a substantial decreasement (60,000). Starting from 1871 to 1901, they fell steadily every decade for 10,000 and in 1901, the number of them were 30,000 and only 1,000 less than male emloyees.

Because of the fallings of employees, the total number of empoyees dropped dramatically from 477,100 to 61,000 including all years.
In 1851, the number of factories were 225 and in 1861, its number almost remained the same which was 227. In 1881, factories grew rapidly to 721 and reached its peak.

i appreciate your feedback!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,886 4564
Apr 30, 2023   #2
The essay is overwritten by 11 words. This could result in a lack of time to develop a proper task 2 response. Keep your writing to under 200 words. It is highly possible to do. Focus on the quick explanation rather than the length of the presentation. This is just a quick 20 minute task. You do not need to overwrite, analyze, or explain the information provided. You just have to provide an accurate understanding of it.

The summary presentation is going to receive a failing mark for being a run-on sentence. The infomation provided should have been done over a 3 - 5 sentence presentation. A sentence represents a single idea per line for information clarity. Compressing the information makes the sentence confusing and useless to the reader.

You are not using varied punctuation marks in the essay. That is scored as a part of the coherence and GRA aspect of the essay. The writing is limited to only the use of a period or a comma. That often results in confusing and improper sentence structures. While you did your best to create a comprehensive presentation, It is the lack of proper sentence development that weakens the presentation.

 Home / Writing Feedback / The table describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901