Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


IELTS Task 1 : Table of poverty living in Australia



SHanafi 120 / 357  
May 5, 2014   #1
The table presents the percentage of poor families living in Australia during a calendar year in 1999.

Overall, the highest percentage of poverty living showed in sole parent trend while the least age coupled group strong stance in statistic's year.

As per the table, sole parent trend accounted as the highest familial type living in poverty by 21 % of the overall percentage. By comparison with aged coupled family being noted as the least 4 %, such trend had more five-fold increase in full loan of household living. Standing in contrast with single aged person showed 6% poverty, the couple with children family doubled by 12 % throughout the statistic year. The single without children experienced 19% poverty in Australia while the couple without children reckoned the less of one-third, noted as huge gap in percentage.

Fast forward to the numbers, the couple with children stood 933 thousand household. Such trend presented an approximately halved in comparison with the overall number of households being accounted 1.837 thousand in number of household in such annum. While as the percentage single family with no children accounted the second position, in terms of household it was stance the third by 359 thousand.

Interestingly, it is obvious that the proportion rate in percentage of household type living in poverty In Australia was not always linear with the number of household in thousand.


  • table_household_pove.png


MisterWandering 18 / 314  
May 5, 2014   #2
The table presents the percentage of poor families living in Australia during a calendar year in 1999

Overall, the highest percentage of poverty living showed in sole parent trend while the least age coupled group strong stance in statistic's year.

Overall, single parents accounted for the highest level of poverty in Australia while the elderly people were least likely to be poor.

such trend had more five-fold increase

"Increase" or "Decrease" are used to describe trends with the passing of time. Here you have to compare the proportions given by using comparatives or superlatives.

in full loan of

What do you mean by this?

Fast forward to the numbers,

This part could be omitted.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
May 5, 2014   #3
The table presents the percentage of poor families living in Australia during a calendar year in 1999.

The table presents the details of proportions of different family types of people living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Overall, the highest percentage of poverty living showed in sole parent trend while the least age coupled group strong stance in statistic's year.

Overall, sole parents had recorded the highest proportion among the poor family types while aged couples had recorded the least proportion.

As per the table, sole parent trend accounted as the highest familialfamily type living in poverty (this you already said in the overview and should not repeat again here - tell the details now) by 21 % of the overall percentage.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
May 6, 2014   #4
The table presents the percentage of poor families livinggives information about poverty rates among six types of household in Australia during a calendarin the year 1999

Overall, the highest percentage of poverty living showed in sole parent trend while the least age coupled group strong stance in statistic's year.

The level of poverty were higher for single people than for couples, and people with children were more likely to be poor than those without. Poverty rates were considerably lower among elderly people.

Try to compare whole categories (columns or rows) rather than individual 'cells' in the table. If you can't compare whole categories, compare the biggest and smallest number. Write 2 sentences for the summary.

sole parent trend accounted as the highest familial type living in poverty by 21 % of the overall percentage.

Just over one fifth of single parents were living in poverty (add this:whereas only 12% of parents living with a partner were classed as poor. )

In your two 'details' paragraphs, never describe each category (column or row) separately. The examiner wants to see comparisons. Try to organize the numbers you highlighted into 2 groups - one for each paragraph (e.g. highest numbers for all categories together, and lowest numbers together)
dumi 1 / 6793  
May 6, 2014   #5
As per the table, sole parents had been trendaccounted as the highest familial type living in poverty by 21 % of the overall percentage total Australians in poverty in 1999 accounting to 232,000 people .

By comparison with aged coupled family being noted as the least 4 %, such trend had more five-fold increase in full loan of household living.

What does this mean? It sounds so confusing :( what is this five fold increase and full loan? You should be very careful in the detail paras as they deal with lots of figures and data. The reader tends to get more confused in these detail paras and it is your responsibility to present data in a logical way without presenting them in more complex sentences.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Table of poverty living in Australia
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳