Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS WRITING TASK 1, Table of Proportion of children in Australia



Muhayyun Mappare 2 / 2  
Dec 29, 2016   #1
The table provides the data of the proportion of children delivered by women with the age of 40-44 in 1981. Overall, it can be seen that the woman delivering children with none, one child, and two children chategories experienced an increasing trend, while the reverse witnessed in the remaining data.

The two children category was dominated in 1981 and was followed by The one and the none child chategories. However, in the next 25 years of the growth of children, The two children still dominated in 38,3% while the none children in 15,9% which opposited the one children chategories in 15,9%.

On the other hand, the four or more and the three children category grew up in 1981. Nevertheless, the three children chategory had experienced to increase gradually from 27,4 to 21,5% in 2006 while the four or more children chategory declined moderately from 27,6 to 11,0% in 2006.


  • IMG_6704.JPG


hanasufiarahma 3 / 3  
Dec 29, 2016   #2
Hallo Mahayyun Mappare, Good Evening. I will try to give you some suggest.
Here there are :

Overall, it can be seen that ...

it is better that :
Overall, it can clearly seen that the woman who delivere children at one child and two children, also the women who did not had a child experienced an increasing trend, while the other categories showed opposite trend.

The two children category was dominated in 1981 and it was followed by the one and the none child chategories.the women who did not had child and the women had a child became the second and the third highest proportion respectively.

Hope you much success.
Regard.
Dayat 2 / 4  
Dec 30, 2016   #3
Hy Mahayyun Mappare, good afternoon, i have some corrections in grammatical of your writing.

The table provides the data of the proportion of children delivered by women with the age of 40-44 in 1981.

the correction, this sentences is not clear enough, if you want to use the complex sentence and to make easier for reader to read your writing, you should use conjuction in this sentences.

like this one (The table provides the data of the proportion of children which were ever born by women in Australia with the age of 40-44 in 1981

Thanks
Hope you much success.
Regard.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1, Table of Proportion of children in Australia
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳